A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Is it better to wait or break friendship? Two people who were close now are drifting apart. One is ignoring the other and the other is waiting. One tried talking to see if there are any issues but the other didnt gave clear answer. Other just said "Dont assume things and dont always expect response from Me. I am still your friend" But the other feels there's more to it.So what should be done? Should the other also start ignoring or give time and space and wait what happens? Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 January 2019):
Make other friends, leave this one be.
HER idea of friendship and YOUR idea of friendship doesn't seem to match up.
She is trying (in a rather rude way) to set boundaries with you (boundaries in friendships are fine) but you seem oblivious to what she is saying.
Maybe you overdo the texting and calling? Become a tad clingy and needy? It might just BE too much for her.
You have asked this question a few times (in different posts and ways) and you are still not sure what to do, so try something you haven't... like STOP texting/contacting her.
LET her WORK for the friendship too. ONE person can't carry a friendship or relationship alone.
If she doesn't start to pick up the "slack" make new friends.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2019): OP, you were right to ask. You should. How can they tell you never assume and then not even give you a clear, definite answer? I think your friend is being passive aggressive and not very nice. They aren't offering you the dignity and respect of honesty. Their explanation is unacceptable. I think you should say they didn't give you a real answer. And ask them once again. If they behave the same way, then back off. Ball's in their court.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2019): It means you may need to back-off a little and not smother a friend. There is a fine-line between close and being dependent. You may be a little clingy or needy; or the friend may be trying to make time for other friends. As should you!
No one is at your beck and call 24/7. You can wear-out your welcome, if you always have something to whine or complain about. If it's always your messages or calls every-time the phone goes off.
People tire when you are always venting or unloading your troubles. They also get tired of you being their only buddy to hangout with. You can tax the friendship; if you never give your friend a break. Let them miss you!
Find things to do independently. Be your own best-friend; and socialize with other friends or family.
If you're not dating, maybe it's time you did. Maybe your friend has found someone to date; and you're getting a bit possessive of his or her time. Don't press people to talk, if they refuse. That's being pushy.
If they ignore you and neglect your friendship; that's reason enough to end it. Make some new friends, and don't concentrate all your time and feelings on just the one. Friendship is not the same as a romance. In both cases, people need room to breathe.
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