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female
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*plac*
writes: Hey..so a friend of mine met this guy and they were together for 3 months.while they were together we became best friends,he's an amazing guy,2 years older and very attractive.they broke up 2 months ago,he broke up with her an now we are best,best,best friends with him.he is so great,he truly loves me!we talk all the time and he really seems to care.lately we are both (i can tell ) starting to feel some kind of a sexual tension,a chemistry between us.he likes me a lot i can tell..i think i've fallen for him also what can i do??should i spoil the friendship and risk having my "so called girl friend" start spreading rumors and get pissed off or should i just ignore my feelings?i'm getting really confused here..
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female
reader, Angel-eyes +, writes (15 November 2006):
in my opinion,you should ask him to wait for a while, and if he really loves u as u say so,he wont cheat and wait for u.
meanwhile u should find the right time to know ur friend's feelings abt that guy and in case they r nill,u should tell her about ur feelings!!it's a risk u should take sooner or later and this is if u think it is worth taking a risk of MIGHT losing ur friendship for a guy ur not 100% sure.
is he worth??after all,if she is really ur friend,she must wish u luck and not stay in ur way!!plus be there when u fall..
good luck with ur decision,life is worth of having them!
A
female
reader, *plac* +, writes (15 November 2006):
*plac* is verified as being by the original poster of the question hey again..comment on malyce sinns answer..so im not thinking that she will spread gossip..i know her for 8 years and she has done many things like that and worse,she is a very jealous person treating people badly..so it's not that i think negatively,she will do it and she will try to spoil it all..: ??
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2006): Talking to her is A VIABLE OPTION...you just don't want to. Let's be honest here.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2006): I don't think you are a very good friend in that you are ordaining your GF to become some gossip out to destroy your happiness.
You should be understanding that she had a good guy and it didn't work out and she is dealing with it poorly.
I don't think starting something with her Ex is a wise choice.
You already seem to know it will bring troubles.
Most people rush things before their time. I say be patient.
Still let your friendship with this young man grow. Work on that. Let it build to where you both will KNOW what is the best course to take.
Take the time to be patient and time will erase the confusion.
Slowly.
Build.
Trust.
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A
female
reader, *plac* +, writes (15 November 2006):
*plac* is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey.so thnx for your answer but actually we WERE friends..we have fought bcuz of maaany things and it turned out she wasn't a friend and talking to her just isn't an option..any ideas?xxx
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (15 November 2006):
 I think you need to speak to your friend first. Tell her how you feel and ask he how she feels about you making a move on him. Undoubtedly, she may be upset, but if she wants you to be happy, she needs to suck it up and let you have a shot. Just because she had a short relationship with him doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to try with him.
Now, my answer would be different if you just fancied him but it seems to be more than that and with the chemistry you two have, I think it would be a waste to let this go. And, as your friend, she should see this too and not want you to let this chance go.
I know it's always risky business with mates' exes and there are all the rules and stuff, but sometimes, you have to follow your heart. She may be upset but, if she's a true friend, she won't forget about you because of this. But definitely talk to her first, don't just do it. This is really gonna get her back up and maybe you will lose her.
If she says no, I would say respect her wishes if she is more important to you, of course. If you think she is the type to spread rumours and childish stuff like that then mayeb you should decide whether or not she is really a good friend at all?
Good luck and hope you make the right decision.
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