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writes: I m 28 and my girlfriend is 31. We've been seeing each other for a year and half now. And ive hurt her once too many times. Ive cheated on her once and made other silly mistakes in nasty arguments. She said she still loves me and needs some space. Then she decided to give it a go ....and then the day after she reverted back to wanting to be friends for a few week. She said "Build on that, then maybe build on our relationship". The thing is i dont know where i stand with her and since i cheated on her in april i have since been faithful and it has made me a wiser stronger person. She is currently got other issues (financial) quite heavy ones at that. And she seems to be tired all the time. So she made the comment of not having time to deal with all this shit at the moment. She has said she loves me and that, that isnt the problem. She wants me to be more of a man and be more responsible. We havent spoke for about a week now. But im not too sure what to do as i dont want any relationships to come into play with others whilst we have a break. Obviously this can happen due to insecurities, drinking and a feeling of resentment. How can i make her happier. Ive told her i want to take her on holiday...she threw it back in my face and said "if you want to help then buy me some food and fit some radiators for me"
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reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (15 November 2006):
 Sounds like you really need to leave her alone for a while and give her the space she wants. You have hurt her, maybe a lot more than you think, and with everything else going on in her life, maybe she needs some time away from you to decide where she wants it to go.
Don't pester her at this time, just chill out and leave her to it. I don't blame her for making these comments to you, you've just out more burden on her when it sounds like her life is stressful enough as it is at the moment. I know you say you love her now but it takes time for someone to get that trust back for someone who has hurt them so badly.
Be patient and, if she comes back to you, you'll be so much stronger for it. If she doesn't, maybe you learn the lesson that cheating is never a good idea and you don't miss what you've got until it's gone. Good luck for the both of you, I hope she makes the right decision to make you both happy.
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