A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hello, I would love a mans perspective on this as well as a womans! My Ex and I have known each other for 10 years, was together for 1 year and have been broken up for 2 years now. We still remain friends but feelings are still there on both of our parts, Ive told him this he has told me this, just our timing right now is bad because we are in current situations in both of our lives.We have mutual friends that we hang out with all the time, get togethers, bbq's etc. Normally when we see each other we talk, flirt, sometimes even have sex(i know bad) but once we get the talking about "us" it's a sensitive subject for him because he is not ready to be back in a relationship right now. We were recently at a get together at our friends house, When he saw me I was talking to a friend, he said helloooo as in (im heeere don't you see me?), I said hello back, but for the rest of the night it was as if everytime we were around each other, he tried to keep himself busy and tried not even notice me and normally he is not like that. What does this mean? He wasn't mad at me or nothing?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks "you wis" but our friends at the getogether are literally "friends" like brothers and sisters so it wasnt like it was someone there that he could have been interested in or vice versa ya know
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (27 September 2011):
Well, what you really have now is a "friends with benefits" situation. Yes, you have a history, but the old relationship you once had is now gone. You still refer to him as an ex, and I'm sure you are doing that in public (referring to him as "ex" to your friends and family)
Likewise, you both were at a friend's house. His being busy was his way of saying "she's my ex" to your friends. It's also a way to show that he's available and single, because there's nothing that says "I'm off the market" than hanging around and flirting with your girl that everyone sees you with.
You two can't skirt this issue forever. He doesn't want a relationship. if you're fine with that, then keep doing what you're doing, but keep in mind, you can't think of him like he's anything other than your ex and a FWB.
I'm guessing he's biding his time with you unless something else comes along he prefers. If you have feelings for him, you might want to run away from him, because you're going to get hurt, and you certainly aren't allowing yourself to move on at all.
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