A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have always had problems with depression and expressing my emotions. I had a troublesome relationship with my father in my childhood and it seems to have manifested into my adult life as causing me problems expressing how i feel, depression and generally lack of confidence. This has obviously affected my relationships too.I have been with my boyfriend on and off for 5 years, he has some anger issues and is generally sometimes quite unapproachable sometimes. He tends to take his problems on the people close to him rather than talking about it. Over the last few months we have had more and more problems and he has got worse at quickly snapping at me and often blaming me for our arguments completely saying i have an emotional problem. I bit the bullet and went to see a doctor after him constantly saying i had a problem and they said i had moderatley severe depression but this wasnt being helped by my lack of support from my boyfriend and suggested he seek help himself for his anger and depression from what i had described. I have suggested this before but he has passed it off saying he doesnt have a problem.I dont want to leave this guy, when its good its really good and i love him, but he is making my depression worse and his lack of ability to accept responsibility for his own problems seems to be breaking up our relationship and making me even more unhappyWhat can i do
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (23 March 2009):
 his childish attitude is dragging you both down and it sounds like he is incapable of accepting responsibility as he relies on your depressive tendency to accept blame you dont deserve to make him feel that he has no fault in anything.
you know that in life looking after number one is the most important-i have been diagnosed with bipolar and i would not let anyone stand in the way of my wellbeing.if you dont look after yourself your illness will always be in full swing kicking you in the face. if you do take charge and remove all negative triggers and make a better life then you might find your depression subsides until a bad trigger sets it off again. this period of stability is worth any sacrifice.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): Tell him that when he brushes you off as having mental problems it makes you feel more depressed, and you can't live in a relationship that depresses you, that defeats the purpose of having a relationship at all.
Perhaps see if you can get him to talk to the same doctor you saw, and maybe your doctor can explain to him in an impartial 'medical' (i.e. believable to him) way what contributes to your own feelings.
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