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When is this going to stop hurting?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 January 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 January 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am currently going through a seperation that is 99.9% likely going to end in divorce. (It was an abusive marriage and I don't think I can fogive/forget) I find myself thinking about my husband constantly...like what he's up to, how he's feeling, and why he isn't contacting me as much anymore (he was for awhile, but recently not so much)

I am tired of wondering about him, about hurting and feeling so depressed and lonely about the whole situation. I can't file for divorce until March (state laws) but he can file whenever he wants (his state's law) so I am just sitting here miserable wanting to move on, wondering if maybe we could work things out until I am legally able to file, or waiting for him to do it.

When is this going to stop hurting/making me crazy??

View related questions: depressed, divorce, move on

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A female reader, Plexi Canada +, writes (8 January 2009):

Plexi agony auntYou need to find yourself a distraction, something that will take your mind off of things. why would you want to work things out with an abbusive man? its over! be glad its over and move on, you wil feel sooooooooooooo much better once the divorce is finalized so concentrate on moving that along as quickly as possible.

Find a hobby honey, make some new friends, getout of the house.........do things that will take your mind off of him and the past.

Things will be ok and you will be happy again just be strong!!!

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (8 January 2009):

DoubleM agony auntMy first question must be, "Why would you want to revive an abusive relationship?" It has just always baffled me why a woman will put up with someone who even somewhat disrespects her, such as with heavy verbal criticism, or especially if they inflict any degree of physical abuse.

Anyway, the reason that your estranged husband has likely stopped or reduced contact with you are probably one of the following: Pride, or he is chasing or courting another (maybe more). You should not sit around being depressed or even thinking about someone who mistreated you, in my opinion. You are young and should think about moving forward. Begin making new friends and let the legal matters work out, or initiate when appropriate. From now on, do what is right for you. Do not let this make you depressed or crazy. Brighter days are ahead. Best wishes.

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