A
female
age
36-40,
*ari
writes:I've met this lad four months ago, the first week it felt like we had known each other forever we have been with each other ever since, he used to disappear stop texting every now and then and even though i was dyin to txt him and ask whats up i tried to control myself. Now he texts me quite regularly and when i tell him I'm busy so I'm gonna text him later and i dont he gets mad. We are not officially going out coz he hasn't asked me out yet but he acts like we are in a relationship, he doesn't want me to be with anybody else and when he feels like I'm getting a bit distant he says something like"u better not be seen anybody else", once he was talking about a dream he had and he said" i had a dream u cheated on me, i got mad and we broke up" i mean, u only can cheat if u ar in a relationship and u cant break up something non-existen can u?why does he acts like we are in a relationship,gets jealous over anything and everything but wont introduce me to his parents or ask me out? i didnt wanna bring that up in case he thinks I'm been clingy and pushy but there is so much i can take,i wana know wer im standin,wer we are goin,if we ARE goin anywer at all.when is the rite moment to ask?should i just wait a little more or wait for him 2ask me out?what should i say coz the way i think is if he hasnt asked me out yet he must hav his reasons but then again why does he act like we are in a relationship?It's like I'm technically single but I get all the bad side of being in a relationship which is I'm not able to do anything that single people do coz i might lose him even though he is not my boyfriend!its a bit confusing.. help!xxxx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, she makes me feel  +, writes (10 April 2008):
 don't ask, just suddenly introduce him as your boyfriend to someone, and then if he reacts, then you know. no need getting jerked around with all the bad sides of a relationship and not getting the good sides that you deserve for your effort. see if he reacts like "i aint your boyfriend", then say "well, then why can't i see other guys?" and just be really assertive about his needs as well as your own. That way ground is covered and maybe you never know, all of a sudden you guys might be officially seen as an item. another thing is maybe he wants you as a girlfriend, but is testing the waters and maybe any day now he might get a lot closer when he sees how you react with his friends (which he could be getting critiques from about you) and in other situations if he's impressed. just be yourself. hope all this helps!
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