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When is it the correct time to ask a girl out before they say "we are just friends"?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 June 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 8 June 2011)
A male United States age 30-35, *lsergin writes:

i have fallen into this situation many times. i always meet new girls and well i get to know them but then when i ask them out they say that im just a friend. is it because i know them to much? when is the correct time before i get in the "friend zone"?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011):

When you know you're interested after you've met up 2 or 3 times and there's attraction there, then make a move as soon as you can by flirting and asking her out on a date etc, next time you see her.

I do believe in a 'friend zone'. I met a guy who I really liked, there was an instant attraction there and if he had asked me near when we first met, I would have said yes. When he finally did ask me out we were really good friends, best friends even so when I thought about having a relationship with him I would be stressed out thinking about what if it didn't work, what if one of us hurt each other - it could completely ruin this great friendship. The thought of doing anything sexual with him felt weird too, so it didn't happen. So yeah make a move early on.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (8 June 2011):

chigirl agony auntI firmly believe there is no such thing as a friend zone. Girls are easy. We either like you or we don't. If we don't like you we call you a friend. If we do like you it doesn't matter how many years go by, we'll still accept if you ask us on a date.

I'm afraid this has nothing to do with friend zone, it's about you not having met the right girl for you yet.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011):

Let them know you are romantically interested VERY early on.

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A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (8 June 2011):

Odds agony auntAs soon as possible. At the very least, make it clear that you are interested the first time you meet a girl by getting her number, then calling within two or three days to meet up.

The exception is if you know for a fact you'll keep seeing a girl in settings conducive to spontaneous relationships (school and clubs don't count). Say, you know you're going to see a girl at a party in a week. You can flirt now, tease her a bit, then meet up at the party. In this situation, rather than asking a girl out, you could just escalate with body language and by getting her alone, without saying a word.

Mostly, it's the hesitation that's killing you. Chicks like guys who know what they want and go for it. You should act as soon as possible.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011):

Hey,

I teach men to attract women for a living and I get asked this question a lot.

In answer to your question you need to start intimacy within 7 hours of meeting her. or on a second date. Any longer and her brain wont be getting the messages of potential suitor. It will put you into the friend category. This is all done by chemical changes in the brain and once you are in the friend zone it is extremely unlikely that you can get out of it. not impossible though. .

UKLifeCoach

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