A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've never experienced this before and it's incredibly unusual for me! Usually they say when you drink someone looks more attractive.. But the guy I'm dating, he looks very good looking when I'm sober, yet once I've started drinking he starts looking unattractive to me and it's like I'm with a different guy? It's unusual, it's not even that he's unattractive when he drinks. Because it's just usually when I drink, I've been sober and been around him when he's been really drunk and i'm still very attracted. But as I said, when I drink I start seeing him differently! I think he's now starting to wonder why I'm not drinking anymore when we're together, but I don't want to say that.How does this happen? I've never heard of someone looking unattractive when you drink, at least i've never experienced it!?
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male
reader, RevMick  +, writes (15 May 2014):
 Hi,
I think that when you are sober, you have a lower sense of self worth (3 of 5) or self image and so you see your boyfriend as an attractive man on your scale.
However, when you are drunk your self image increases and you begin to think you're a 5 and then you want to look for someone who is also a 5.
I agree with the other aunts, that drinking should be limited so that you don't get these feelings.
A
female
reader, like I see it  +, writes (15 May 2014):
 What you want when you are sober and what you want when you are impaired/not thinking clearly may be two different things... just as many people's personalities change with alcohol, or they do things they might not do otherwise. Alcohol and reason have never been known to go hand in hand :)
If you wish to continue dating him I think your decision to cut back on drinking when you're with him is a wise one. Mixed messages under these circumstances would likely be insulting and hard for him to understand. You could try compromising with a beer or two instead of total abstinence; just don't drink enough to put you over the edge past which he's no longer attractive to you.
Best wishes!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 May 2014):
 Reverse beer-goggles!
Basically, it could be that you find YOURSELF more attractive when drinking (thinking you can do better then him).
When sober, you see him for who he is, drunk or not.
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