| A ,
*
writes: I have just broken up with my boyfriend and even though we weren't happy together I am finding it hard to get over him. I don't want him to get with anyone else even though I know we dont get on. Does anyone have any good tips on how I can get over him? I find it hard to be alone and that's when I miss him.
View related questions:
miss my ex, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jodie lou  +, writes (14 September 2008):
hello everyone, i think the best thing to do is think of all the bad times you had, and think why you both ended?
has it goes, dont worry about the people in your past theres a reason they didnt make it to your future....
i still think about my ex and its been ages, you just want it to go away and one day it will....
everything happens for a reason....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2007): Hi there I know exactly how you feel. Me and my ex boyfriend broke up about three months now he was older than me and when we where togither it was great then we just started arguing etc and it didnt work out hes my next door neighbour and see him alot of the time and I dont know what to do either so you are not alone.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2006): Hello hello. I personally dont think there is a quick way to get over someone. Some days you will feel so crap and lonely and just want to call him and other days you will feel great. You just have to give yourself into the pain and feel it and grieve for this person and eventually it will get easier. As they say "time heals all wounds". And its true. Be gentle on yourself and look after yourself and make sure you have time alone to clear your thoughts and have a great cry.
Dont worry, you will be fine!
...............................
A
reader, Brijit +, writes (10 October 2005):
Hi i know exactly how you feel, i recently broke up with my boyfriend although i loved him so much, because another guy was making it impossible for us not to end up hatin geachother. I miss him so much and now he is seeing this girl who he broke up with ages ago to be with me!!! Thought he still loved me...very confused! Guess we should should just avoid them, thats probably best and time will heal.
...............................
A
female
reader, LEXI8580 +, writes (30 September 2005):
From my past experiences there isnt really an easy solution to get over an ex, but what does help is your friends.When i was in your position my friends helped me alot by coming round so i wasnt on my own all the time, i was out pretty much every night enjoying myself aswel which helped, and after a while it stopped hurting. Its always hard seeing your ex with someone else its probably best you avoid going places you know he will be for now until you feel better in yourself.
...............................
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (30 September 2005):
 It will take some time to get over him. It's always the case that when you've been in a relationship - good or bad - it takes a certain length of time to put it behind you.
Remind yourself of the things that didn't work out between you. Think about what it was that finally made you sever the ties and walk away. Remember all the times you argued and felt terrible. Then look at how peaceful things are now. Remind yourself that you're free to go anywhere you want and see anyone you want to, now that he's out of the picture.
You say that didn't get on. Keep reminding yourself of the fact that now that you're out of the bad relationship, you'll be able to make yourself happy and, eventually, find a good one.
Don't worry about him and anyone else. That's not your business any more. Any other woman who gets involved with him is likely to be just as unhappy as you were. Write him off, and put that out of your mind. It's just not any of your business any more.
Then make sure that you have lots of things to do to keep you from getting lonely and broody. Go swimming after work, or start walking with friends. Volunteer to coach girls' soccer on Saturdays. Start writing your family history. Tutor a kid in maths or reading. Walk your neighbour's dog. Accept invitations to parties. Call up old girlfriends you haven't see for a while and have a movie night. Anything you can think of to stay busy until you get used to the positive change that you've made.
Then just keep reminding yourself that nothing good happens overnight. You've gotten rid of something that was bad for you and it will take a little while to get used to the change.
I wish you strength!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2005): Oh my god! Pops has terrible advice!! Ignore! I mean, he is true- you don't have any control over who your ex sees so it is best to try and let that go ASAP (I know thats not easy though).
Going out with someone else immediately is NOT a good way to get over an ex! This is just rebound chaos. Also you just find problems repeating. You have to be happy and stable to enter a relationship if you want it to work.
Now, in terms of getting over your ex, I'm afraid there are no easy answers. Time is a healer though, but it sounds like you have a bit too much time on your hand cos you are thinking about him heaps- this is a killer! Take up an indoor sport or craft class or something. Sounds geeky I know- but productivity is the answer. Do something you've ALWAYS wanted to do- even if it costs a bit- and that way you'll feel so good about yourself (and that definetly helps the healing!) Also, try not to see him if you can.
Best wishes!!
...............................
A
reader, pops +, writes (30 September 2005):
What you are admitting to is wrong, if not sick, or bizarre. YOu don't own your boyfriend, so you can't control who he sees, or dates. Get over it! The best way to get over a former relationship is to begin dating someone else. Get out and meet people. There is some man out there who will appreciate you more than the ex did, and treat you like his queen. Find him.
...............................
|
