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anonymous
writes: Hi I am a girl of 16 and my partner is 24. I fell pregnant after 3 months of being with my partner. I told him and ignored me for 2 days and then he phoned me to go for a dinner with him and I agreed, so we met and he said he doesn't want the child. After a bit he said I have to choose between him or the child. I don't think I will be able to go through a termination but his family want me to. What do I do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): hi i am in your situation it not easy making a decision wether to keep your baby or not i had a termination at five months due to medical reasons and it was the hardest decision in my life and once i done it i had to have counselling for two months after. Now i am pregnant by my current partner who i have beens with for months and i am ten weeks pregnant even though he knows what i went through with the last one he has told me to terminate this baby or i lose him and i have got rid of him because a baby is here for life and babes any one can be a dad but it takes a man to raise a child always remember that. TAKE CARE AND DO WHAT BEST FOR OUR SELF IN THE LONG RUN BUT YOU ARE STILL YOUNG AN AS LONG AS YOU HAVE YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS SUPPORT YOU DONT NEED HIM, HE WILL COME ROUND TO THE IDEA ONCE HE HAS SEEN THE SCANS AND ONCE THE BABY IS BORN XXXXX
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2005): I'm a 19 year old girl and the same thing has happend to me, so don't think you're the only one in this situation. I met my boyfriend we were together for 3 months and I just found out I'm six weeks pregnant. When I told him he said he don't know what to do. I just can't tell my parents. All I can suggest is that make sure you take the right decision. Good luck babes
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reader, dan102938 +, writes (16 May 2005):
Hi I think that's a pretty hard decision because you love him and everything and I assume that you want to not have an abortion I'm 12 years old and I don't really like people to have an abortion because I don't know....I just don't think it's right. I'm sorry I couldn't help out much but I'll hope that you make the right decision....if there is one.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2005): Ignore his family or anyone else go with whatc you want. If you ask me, he only wanted a sex life, not a comittment so when the ropes have been tied with a child he has got scared and ran. Please dont terminate your baby. It's a life. Your mother gave you a chance to explore the world. Give your baby that chance too. Give your baby the chance to do the things that you never done and forget the plonker who walked away.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2005): It's a simple choice: you choose your baby. He isn't man enough to face the facts and he decides to run from it or ask you sick questions like choose between the baby and him get rid of him. It just shows you how much he loves you if he is doing a thing like that.
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reader, bluebird +, writes (15 May 2005):
If you are having and doubts or hesitation you should not terminate your pregnancy, it would be a regret you can never take back. There are plenty of alternatives if keeping the child is not an option. No matter what you decide you need to talk to a counselor or trusted adult. No one can make this decision for your but there are plenty of people who can give you all the information you need to make the best decision possible.As for your boyfriend I think you best option is to leave. IF he cared about you he would not have left you alone for two days and then given you an ultimatum. If he wants nothing to do with the child, then you want nothing to do with him or his family. You really need to talk to your parents. If you feel that you can't right now then I strongly suggest you speak with a school counselor or an adult you trust. You will need your parents with you durring this time. And don't think about what his family wants, this is your life and your body. Right now you need to be selfish and focus on your wants and needs and what is best for the future of you and your baby.One final thing, be sure you go to a doctor and do this right. Whether you keep the baby, give it up for adoption or terminate your pregnancy you have to take care of yourself both mentally and physically. Doctors are a great resource and will help you in many ways, so talk to them.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (15 May 2005):
 Hi,I'm so sorry that you have to make such a big decision at such a tender age. My thoughts are with you.It looks as if your "partner" (I use the term loosely) has given you an unequivocal answer about how he regards you, the baby and the relationship. I'm sorry to add brutal honesty to your troubles right now, but it's plainly obvious that this guy is not going to be a good daddy to the baby you're carrying. Making you decide between "him or the child" is a terribly selfish and immature response and indicates squarely that he isn't concerned about you, or anyone else but himself. He's a waste of space.I urge you to write him off right now and walk away from him. He seems to regard you as something of a 'recreational trampoline' and isn't willing to contribute to the relationship or take responsibility for something he should have been prepared to prevent. He doesn't see himself as your "partner"; he just proved that.You need to now consider the situation as it stands, with the father not included anywhere in the equation, and make your decisions based on the fact that he doesn't want to be involved in your lives.Please ring the women's health services in your area and ask to discuss your situation with someone. They can give you some excellent, practical advice, even if you don't feel that you can go through a termination. You have a number of options about the pregnancy, beyond the obvious ones, and you need to know about staying healthy while you're pregnant etc. Try to enlist the help of your parents, if you can. They certainly will have their own opinions about what you "should" do, but ultimately this choice is yours alone. Whatever you decide to do, they will eventually understand and they will support you, no matter how it appears right now. Your mother can be your staunchest supporter, if you let her be. She may even have faced a similar situation in her life, so give her a chance.Try not to freeze up, even though I know there's a temptation to wish the whole ordeal away. Try to utilise all the resources that are out there for young women in your situation. Find out all that you can about your options and, whatever you decide to do, remember that you have to do what's right for you.
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