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anonymous
writes: My girlfriend is wanting to break up with me because she is worried she is going to find someone else and hurt me. I dont want to break up though, how should I deal with this? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2005): i think you should end it a.s.a.p because if she really loved you then she wouldnt even think that let alone say it to you
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (15 May 2005):
 There are two issues here: The first is that your girlfriend is wanting to break up *in anticipation* of breaking up. That's a bit like quitting a job so that you don't get laid off, don't you think? I find her comment strange because that's not something people do when they're happy with the relationship that they have. People don't end something because they're afraid it'll end... if you follow what I'm saying.To me, it sounds a bit like she already has found someone else, and she doesn't feel ready to tell you that, so she's making it sound like she's breaking it off to save your feelings.The second issue is that, when someone wants to break up with you, you need to recognise that there isn't anything you can do to "deal with" that fact, other than accept it. You can't make her stay if she doesn't love you. You can feel unhappy about it. You can be distressed or hurt accepting or angry, but there isn't a damned thing you can do to prevent someone breaking up with you. As to what you can do, then, all you can do is say, "I'm so sorry that you don't feel the way I do, but I want you to be happy."I think she's being a little deceptive with you, to be honest, but if she wants to break it off, there isn't much you can do.
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