A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I find it very hard to have feelings for someone I just feel completely numb like I have no feelings at all its down to being treated so bad by my ex boyfriends I think I did meet someone nearly two years ago who only wanted a fwb but I started to get feelings for him so I ended it I still see him around and he is always staring at me I still like him I just wish I could stop feeling like this what should I do and how do I overcome these feelings of numbness thank you
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2012): If you feel numb with every man then maybe your emotionally attached to somebody still not over him?He is history now tho.
Men only treat us how we let them n everyone deserves to be loved and have a healthy relationship.Work on self esteem issues before you get into a new relationship. Build your life and embrace each day.
Stop focusing on the past as whats done is done ~ get out the rut.Learn from mistakes do not dwell on them.
See your GP too as you might have mild depression.
A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (14 August 2012):
 First thing to ask yourself is how you FEEL about the men from these prior bad relationships. If you are still hanging on to the memory of a past love, even if he turned out to be abusive, it will interfere with your relationships until it's laid to rest.
Assuming that you're really emotionally over the prior guys, there is the problem of your numbness. You've been burned. It colors your current attitudes. This is natural. Accept it as a part of yourself for now. Do not feel guilty about your feelings. Own them.
Next, ask yourself how YOU would deal with someone who had been burned by women in his past that you felt deeply for. I think the answer you will find is that you would have to be patient, loving, and not pushy with such a guy until he got the idea that you were NOT like these others.
You need a guy who will act that way toward you. Having been in that role myself a couple of times (including re-introducing one woman to socialization and sexuality after a 20+ year break due to her abusive relationship) I can tell you that there ARE guys who are willing to invest the time and energy in seeing you through the feelings and (hopefully) get you back to feeling good about that relationship. We ARE out there. Keep looking and keep your mind and heart open to the possibility of a new relationship.
As a supplement to that, you might want to consider some sort of counseling by a professional. They can help you understand and work out the feelings, and help get you back on track. But YOU are going to end up being the one who does the work in any case.
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