A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together a year. He text me during the day sometimes. I always respond and always answer his calls. When I text him though over half the time he ignores me. Also he still has womens' numbers from before we got together in his cell. These women are suppose to be just friends but why does he need them now? Also why does he treat me like he does with the cell calls? He says he loves me so much. I don't know for sure still with his behavior and the fact that he disregards my feelings about his everyday drinking.
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female
reader, Goiwan  +, writes (22 August 2009):
 You are being unfair. You want to be the only one in his life minus friends, next it will be minus his family. Just get over the insecurity. The issue is not the phone numbers of women in his phone but why he doesn't respond to your texts (which could probably too many)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009): I wish I had a dime for every time a women asks the "why" question about men.I am sure the same holds true for them. Men just think different than we do. How many times do you call him per day compared to the times he calls you? What does he do every day compared to what you do? It doesn't mean he is busier than you, it just means he can only think of doing one thing at a time, where you might be able to multi task much better. What kind of things do you texted him about? Are they sweet "nothings", or fact related? I've heard it said that men compartmentalize, where we can be all over at once. We are thinking of our Lover, friends, family, work, what dress to wear tonight, hailing the taxi, what are we going to eat for lunch and TEXTING at the same time. Men...if they are hunting for food to take home to the cave that night, their mind is only on that one thought. Also it seems...they think if they have told us twice during the day that they love us, then they have met and surpassed the quota. (I know this is a generalizations, of course not all men react like this, nor do all women feel the need to text 50 times a day how much they love their man).
By-the-way, have you asked him why he ignores your calls half the time? The next question would be to ask yourself..."How does he treat me when we are together? Is he secretive about the girls that he still has listed or is he open and upfront? Does he listen to my concerns about the girls from his past, or does he tell me to mind my own business and then moves on to something else"? Making a list of how he treats you as compared to how you treat him...isn't going to make it, because in general our minds just don't think alike (thank goodness).
Your last statement you said... "and the fact that he disregards my feelings about his everyday drinking". Well...that is something, in my humble opinion, that SHOULD NOT be ignored. That could be,in part,the answer to all your concerns. It sure is something I would want to investigate more. I have a son who is a sober alcoholic. Before he finally admitted this problem and got help for it, I can tell you the last thing he wanted to do was to talk about his drinking. He didn't see it as a problem and would completely ignore any of us who tried to help.
I pray you will take some time to work on this with your partner and not worry to much about ignored text msgs. If the ignored msgs and the list of girlfriends are still a great concern for you, such a concern that it could be considered a deal breaker, please make sure your express this to him. Tell him how much you worry when he doesn't answer. Perhaps you might think about ignoring his calls a few times it might help him realize what you are feeling and what you have gone through. Though I'm not sure it (ignoring his calls) would help much *shrug* as for reasons given above.
Peace and good luck.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (17 February 2009):
 Right from the top; the txting, fact of life is people get busy and cant txt back all the time. So, I am inclined to feel that you should cut him slack on that one....does he work?? Maybe he is busy at his job? Study? You can start to catch my drift....
Second point; again I am not inclined to see anything suspiscious in that in and of itself. Just because somebody is in a relationship does not mean they abandon their friends of whatever gender and nor should you ask them too. I know you want to be his universe and I am getting a distinct impression the real root cause of this question is a deep feeling of neglect, but you have to be proportionate. Unless you have other hard evidence that there is something more here I am sorry to say you are going to have to let this go....
Third; the cell...you are not really specific so can't comment...
Fourth; the drinking....I think this could be one of the root causes of why you feel neglected, that he wont take your feelings into consideration on this. However, it is impossible to tell from what you say here whether this is problem drinking or whether it is merely he is a bit of a socialite. I presume you want him to stop but again whether that is really legitimate depends on if it is problem drinking which is affecting his behaviour.
All in all if you feeling neglected which you clearly are from this then I think you need to talk to him about that but you do need to have a care for what it is reasonable to expect or else it will push him away. If the drinking is problem drinking and it is affecting his moods and your relationship then the first thing that needs to happen is he needs to admit he has a problem. However, he wont do that if he feels pressured into it, what you could do is talk about the effects it is having and bring him to self-realisation. Good luck :)x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009): I have the same problem, what i do...(which works if you can stick at it...something i cant do) Play him at his own game. Dont make yourself so available for him. If it doesnt get a reaction then ask him outright. Otherwise i would say get rid!!! Good Luck!xx
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A
female
reader, elizabeth12 +, writes (17 February 2009):
 So when somebody gets a girl or boyfriend he has to lose all his friends of his partners gender?And when he doesnt response to your texts, maybe you should stop responsing his texts too?
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