A
male
 ,
*ecentguy1
writes:Hi all,Okay, here's the deal. My ex and I of 5 years broke up 3 mos ago. About 5 weeks ago, she sent me an e-mail saying "change is hard" and "we need to start fresh in all aspects" and "i hope you agree and understand"...this was in response to my e-mail asking her to meet for dinner...okay, at the end she said "we were a team for so long and depended on each other for everything, we need to step back and find our own happiness"...she also said we can/will meet and she left it off, as "i'll be in touch soon"...okay, fine. I mentioned her bag with her things were still with me and that i could send them. She ignoredthat and i didn't send them back to her. We have done this before, break up, take time and re-conect. My question is, do I continue to stay away, while i live my life and let her have her space, no matter how long? or do I try to contact her? I think it's best if i tough it out, and let her come back if she's interested...please advise!! we did have a very deep and intense love, in fact, she at one point said i was the one she wanted to marry...if you think i should just move on and forget it all together, thats a thought as well...i just don't want to seem desperate and obsessing...althouhg i am...lol..
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female
reader, elitzabeth +, writes (5 September 2007):
 I think that she is very inmature and is not sure of what she wants.. That does not necesarry means that she does not love you, she may love you and want you but she may be panicing now. What you have to do is to really step back.. give her back her stuffs, and ignore her for a while.. and see what happens.. Trust me, when she sees that you are moving on and getting over her, she'll start second thinking about what she did; and if she does't then it wasn't meant to be.
As she said in the letter "I will be in touch soon".. so let her come to you 'cause you are not the one with the issues, she is. She needs to put her stuffs together.
Show her that your life is OK without her. But, if she ever does come back you need to be strong and be a man, and set rules on the table. It seems to me that she is always manipulating the relationship and you've got to put a stop to that.
good luck
A
female
reader, ilikenight +, writes (4 September 2007):
 Well, the fact that you've done this before broken up and gotten back together, in my opinion is a sure sign that you're not meant to be together. And as far as the marriage comment she made to you: I have told a few men in my life that I wanted to marry them because at the time I thought I did. That comment really means nothing especially because you break up a lot. I think that yes, you do need to move on and don't contact her. What good is going on like this gonna do for you or her? Find someone you're compatible enough with so that you don't have to keep taking breaks from eachother.
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A
female
reader, RosesAreRed  +, writes (4 September 2007):
 This is a tough one, I think you should just leave it personally, and live your own life and find someone to be really happy with, this lady is just playing you about. Just forget her, move on with your life and be happy.
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A
female
reader, Ears4tears +, writes (4 September 2007):
 I think your doing the right thing darling, by doing it this way you wont have to suffer the rejection. Im sure she knows how you feel about her so its up to her to decided whether she feels the same. Please dont put your life on hold go out and enjoy yourself and if she dont come back then your free for some other very luckey lady.
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