A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am madly in love with my cousin. I just can't get her out of my head after a naughty night 3 weeks ago. We didn't actually had sex, but we were exploring each others body and kissed passionately . it was her first time. I thought it was just an attraction or fling but when I kiss or look at her or carress her hair or just kiss her on forehead and just hug her, I feel like this is what I want . I just want a reason to spend time with her but we have to do it in secrecy . I feel like I am not doing myself favour, but when I see her all logical and rational thinking just went off. What do I do?.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 July 2016):
 Uhm. If I were you, just to be on the safe side, I'd try to keep my raging hormons in check and stay away from cousins. It may end up badly.
- If you are Hindu, like over 80% of the population in Nepal, you already know that you are not supposed to date your first cousin nor marry her . In fact , according to location and caste , maybe you are not allowed to be with anyone at all who is belonging to your gothra ( clan ) , and a cousin probably would be.
- If you belong to those ethnic groups ( not many ) which allow or even favour cousin marriage,like Thakuris- - it has to be matrilateral cross cousins, i.e. she has to be your mother's brother's daughter. Is she ?
- Most importantly, in your country still a good 90 % of marriages is arranged by the parents. What do you know if your cousin has not been promised already. And obviously she is supposed to keep her virginity for her husband. She is not supposed to have "naughty nights" with young memmbers of her family, her future fiancee' may have strong objections to that. If word seeps out about your indiscretions, you can cost her her chances of marriage and her future.
- If you belong to that small, enlightened, Westernized, cosmopolitan Nepalese elite that does not go by these rules and in fact laughs at them- there is still potential for trouble and damage. Family is family and you have gotta see them and hang out with them in future. Suppose that you start dating, openly or secretly, this girl and then things don't go well and you fight, you dump each other, she cries, you know, the usual drama- Do you think she won't tell her parents, and her parents won't very likely involve yours and get mad at you etc. etc. Drama drama drama. And gossips and rifts in the family.
Do you really want to risk all this because of a physical infatuation, that you can overcome by will strength ( and cold showers perhaps... ) or divert toward other attractive but complication- free girls ?
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (4 July 2016):
 Check out:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin_marriage
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (3 July 2016):
 I don't agree with marrying or having any inappropriate relationships with family, so I think you should stop and steer clear of anything you would do with your mother.
However, if you both want to make something of it and your families and law accept it, that's your choice. However, something to bear in mind is that a break up would stay with you forever, as you're family.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (3 July 2016):
I understand that not only is it possible to marry your cousin in Nepal but it is a tradition. You are more likely to have problems with intercaste marriages. You can Google this stuff if you don't want to take my word.
If you are looking for an affair outside marriage then beware. Things can go very bad for you when you are caught.
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