A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Now, im going to aplogise for poor spelling firstly (its late at night for me!!) and secondly I am sorry this is another teacher/student crappy topic!!Ok so lets set you the picture. I am over 18, and still stuck in sixth form (3rd year) I am a bit of a failure..but I'll get there! So really tbh I am passed the whole silly stupid "16-17"year old "I love my teacher" crap. Because quite frankly the woman I love, yes she is my teacher... but this is not the reason I love her to be honest sometimes I wish i had a different teacher!!. Any how... So this woman shes my maths teacher... has been for the last 3/4 years. Shes in her late 20's so there is roughly a 9/10 year age gap between us. we are like friends, I know so much about her life outside of school - more so than her life inside of school. She is so relaxed around me (others have noticed I sometimes just feel like it is in my head!).I have fallen in love with the woman - not the teacher, yes it has been a quite confusing couple of years but the more i got to know the woman the less I thought of her like a teacher more somebody who gives me a bit of guildence on the y/x of some equation if you get what I mean!. She remembers occaisions like my birthday and other things like interviews I may of had or appointments I may of told her about ages ago when the time comes round she checks everything went well.It might sound cliche but in lessons we make eye contact alot, just the odd little smile here.. or there if you get what I mean. In the corridor I used to pass her room and she would watch me, even if she was teaching... even if i wasnt looking at her (I took a friend with me!). I go see her at lunchtimes and break times, she even tells me when she is going to be free - inviting me to go see her because she said she likes the company.What pisses me off the most is if I met this woman in a club or a pub and we hit it off there this would be fine, but since I learn my algebra from her its suddenly illegal. I leave in 8 months... and mind you ive had feelings for her for 2 years now and our friendship?... has developed over that 8 months doesnt seem that long.Is it time to let go? Do you think we might actually have a friendship.. which if i wasnt at sixth form could go somewhere eventually. Do I tell her how i feel when i leave?I just dont know anymore... is it worth the wait.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhos telling me?
:S
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you lookingatyou your answer really made me think :)
The anonymous person above you, i dont get EMA.. i have a part time job bringing in roughly 500/600 pound a month depending on if i do any overtime!... so treating her i could! after i pay my rent etc aha!!
I'm pretty glued up on the fact that I cant go up to her and tell her i love her and expect us to fall in to each others arms, lol if only!! but thats not going to happen. Personally I wouldnt want to do it like that anyway.. secrets and lie just no! I will just bide my time, keep friends with her etc and we shall see. At the end of the day even when I leave if nothing comes out of this (which who knows) I would like to stay friends with her!
thanks for all the answers
x
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2009): teachers do make close bonds with thier students because its human nature and because they need to in order to aid teaching, eg you aremore likely to go to her for extra hel andfeel comfortable in lessons etc.i really do feel sorry for how confused you are, but dont forget that you're only 19, you have your whole life ahead of you andwill meet so many amazing women in your life, this just may be the first time your body actually feels real passion for someone and so it can feel extreme but go with what your gut tells you... do you really see yourself taking this woman out on dates and treating her etc when she is clearly on a good wage and you may only be getting ema at the moment.i personally would say that you have a special friendship but like i say, go with your gut and good luck my friend!
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female
reader, lookingatyou +, writes (13 November 2009):
Gargh! i am the king of student teacher relationships... i did my 3 year stint with my teacher, i know exactly what you mean. i'm 28 now and looking back, i did love him, it wasnt just a crush, me and D had a very friendly relationship too before we went out and there was 9 years between us. i would hardly ever say this to anybody else, i'm commenting on YOUR situation as an over 18. but yes, i do think that if it has been going on 2 years and you are older than 6th form students, there may be a chance. i would defo wait until you leave tho- we didnt wait and the guilt wrecked our relationship. You are in a hard position- there is NO WAY she can make ANY advances on you at all, so stop looking for her reactions- she cant give you anything.It's essentially up to you now. i would bide your time- you want this relationship to be a positive thing, not some guilty wrongdoing- she could lose her job etc etc. so making a point of waiting until after is better. if i were you, id ask for an email address/facebook, when you leave "keep in contact" thing. then ask her to meet for coffee- just friendly. Thats ok- my teachers did that when we left to all of us, its not weird. best not to do the telling face to face incase you've TOTALLY misread the situation (as i did with one of my lecturers at uni *cringe*) i was a mature student there by a few years (24) and i misread his "treating me in a friendly adult way" as feelings. i was stunned and gutted when he turned me down, because i was say, 95% sure. don't cock anything up, play it cool, you've waited two years. I believe you, and i dont think you're some 14 year old writing on here- i know what i'm talking about! :) keep us posted.
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (13 November 2009):
 Legally your 18 and she's around my age (late 20's) so its legal to date her.
However as she is your teacher, school rules dictate you cannot date the teacher.
Have you opened up to your teacher about how you feel? honestly the only way you will ever know is by asking her how she feels towards you, if she feels the same way then you can prehaps relocate to another college to give the relationship a chance to work.
let me know if you have any questions.
Goodluck!
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