A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When I have sex, I don't really find it enjoyable. It doesn't give me pleasure at all, really. Also, when my boyfriend gives me oral, I don't find that enjoyable. I just find it uncomfortable. I actually get more pleasure from my boyfriend fingering me than I do from actual sex. What's wrong with me? My boyfriend is my first and only sexual partner. We've been together just under two years and have only started having sex in the past few months.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): I used to be very similar to you. When you first start having sex with a partner it takes time before you will be able to feel pleasure through sex. I also found out that a few of my friends also found this when they started having sex. It just takes time. Just relax and try different things.
Explore yourself and fins out what you like and then tell your boyfriend. Don't be afraid to tell him what you want.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with you. I suggest you just try to relax and the more you stress about it and get all tensed, the more difficult it willl be.
Let your partner arouse you fully with his fingers and then try, it might help!
Be patient and relax!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (12 June 2008):
I'd say you are pretty normal.
Fingering is the most direct way for a man to stimulate you. Oral sex can be pretty embarrassing so that can stop you getting turned up mentally. Sex can also bypass the clitoris so you might not be feeling much from it.
You are getting pleasure so there is nothing worng physically, it's just a matter of learning to get mentally in the mood. I bet you are really relaxed and excited when he fingers you as you know it will be nice but then get nervous when other stuff happens.
Try getting him to touch you down there when you have sex, and as for oral, don't worry about it for a while and then when it just happens and you don't think about it, it will probably be much better.
Good Luck!! xx
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