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female
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anonymous
writes:Why is it whenever I go out with a guy in the beguining they act like they can't get enough of me, then that goes away and they seem to be fine to not see me every single day???Usualy when I first meet a guy they are all over me and I am a bit unsure, it takes me a while to be in that stage of feeling like I can't live wihtout them. By the time I reach that stage they are always out of it and are ok to be away from me.This is happening with my current bf, I finally start to feel like I want to see him all the time and miss him so much and he's not like that with me anymore. It makes me feel upset. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Gena Bullock  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 Yep, your BF is about 2 years behind the maturity level of you right now. His emotional side hasn't kicked in yet and it may take until he's in his early/mid 20's before he realizes that girls/women have feelings and require MORE than just sex or sexual tendencies.
Just remember, women think with both sides of their brain at the same time/men only think with one side at a time.
There is the emotional side and then the side that harbors reasoning and common sense. Unfortunately it takes men longer to 'pasturize' the sensitive side of things, thus usually messing up a perfectly great relationship due to not understanding their female counterpart.
In other words, most of them don't know how to handle emotions yet. If you have patience and he's willing, you can discuss it with him. Go to the library and read up on the biological thinking of men and women. Its awesome and could bring on some closeness and open discussion for both. Good luck and keep in touch! Gena
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses.
Gena Bullock - I am 19 years old, so almost in my 20s. Not really a teenager. But they do say that most boys are emotioanly 2 years younger/immature then girls right? So my bf is probably more like a 17 year old?!
A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008):- its not that I want to be with him every minute or talk to him non stop every minute of the day. I understand that he has other things in his life and he can be busy so he cant always reply to my messages straight away and so on. BUT it just confuses me and makes me think that maybe hes gonig off me since at first he was non stop all over me and would always reply straight away but now he doesnt.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): I think this happens with most every man. We, as men are all about "the chase." When men settle into a regular relationship they just aren't as driven as they were at the start. It's difficult to gauge your situation because you don't say how much he's ignoring you. If your upset simply because he doesn't want to spend every second with you then your being insecure. How would you treat him if he gave you all the attention you wanted & all the stuff you wanted? The only thing you can do is act the same way towards him as he is to you.
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A
female
reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (18 March 2008):
I didn't see any age group for you, so it can be that you're a teenager and the boys are just getting what they want and not thinking about the emotional side of how you feel. It could happen in your 20's too, I suppose.
I think it's just part of the fact that they aren't emotionally attached, its just physical and that can hurt us girls a lot. I hope you can get past this and find the right MR. RIGHT for you. When that happens, you both will feel the same way--apart and together. Nothing's perfect, but generally that's what happens.
In the meantime, hang in there and maybe don't get so close to the next guy at first; let him know how you feel or your past history with guys. Sometimes sharing your feelings with a newcomer makes them more aware that you're a sensitive creature and need the love and attention and not just the 'closeness' they want in order to move on.
Gena
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): Well, for a start not all blokes are the same. I have had two husbands and one partner and my current husband is the love of my live and always will be. Each person is different so maybe you have just been around all the wrong ones. Maybe in the future you will meet someone who is totally suited to you. But for now, have a good long chat with your bloke and discuss likes and dislikes on both parts.
take care
xx
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 March 2008):
 A man falls in love like a sack of potatoes.
A woman falls in love like a runaway train without brakes.
A man is quick to fall in love while it takes a longer time for a woman to fall in love.
Once she starts her engine , there will be no brakes..
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A
female
reader, korculan queen +, writes (18 March 2008):
Well in the dating stage guys are full on because of their natural instinct of being the suitor and beating the opposition. Once they feel secure that you are with them exclusively then they get COMFORTABLE with you and RELAX. It does not mean they don't love you it just means that they are secure and content. Have you tried talking to your partner about this and stating that you miss him and want to spend more time with him? Work pressures, commitments and long hours can hamper his effectiveness in telling you how he feels. Why not invite him over for dinner and dress nice and follow dinner with a relaxing massage and foot rub for him and tell him how much you love his touch. If a guy senses you are feeling insecure in the relationship it will make them DISTANT. Just think if someone was coming up to you and telling you all the problems in a relationship with you would that make you feel insecure? Tell him all the good things and if he is not brain dead he will pick up on this and hopefully do MORE of what you want. ring him up one night and tell him what you want to do with him next time you see him and be a bit playful and see how he responds. Basically relax, and allow yourself to be loved.
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