A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Can a relationship between a drinker and a non drinker work?Me and my bf are 19 years old and he drinks and I don't. I am fairly against drinking, yet I dont tell those who drink to quit it, infact I dont even try to get them to quit it because I accept that its the choice they have made. Yet it does bother me when their drinking effects me. For example if they do things that upset me when drunk that they wouldnt normally do, or they do something that really regret or just act different to how they normally are like more angrier and insensitive etc. My bf and I have only been going out for just over 1 month and in that time he hasnt drunk, not because ive told him not to, he just hasnt. He said he wants to drink this coming weekend. I told him I was fine with it but deep down I have sooo much anxiety about him drinking. Im scared of what will happen. What also bothers me is that he keeps trying to get me to drink, i dont see why as me not drinking doesnt hurt anyone. I feel like he doesnt accept me for who i am. any advice? do you think we can work things out between us when we dont really seem to understand each other?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): Personally, I am in a relationship with a bonefide alcoholic; however, he only drinks a couple mixed drinks after work to 'chill out' and not all day or night until he's in a drunk stupor. A lot of folks do that.
IF he knows how you feel, then he should respect YOU and your feelings if he really cares enough. If he goes with the crowd, then maybe he's not ready for a real relationship and commitments to make changes for the good of the both of you.
Keep talking to him and if you don't want to drink--don't.
That is your choice and not his to try to push it.
Gena
A
female
reader, confusedandmiserable  +, writes (18 March 2008):
 Being 19 yrs old, you have your entire life ahead of you and are subject to change. That includes the way you feel about drinking and your bf too. I don't think that he does not accept you for who you are by asking you to take a sip but should not pressure you if you don't want to. If you feel like drinking will make your bf do out of character things that will damage your relationship then it will not work. I am in a similar situation with my husband and it can lead to problems when one person's habit is misunderstood by the other. Communication is key, find out why he likes drinking and try to understand. As long as it isn't doing any damage and you can become okay with why he drinks all should be well. Good luck and be young!!
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