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male
,
anonymous
writes: I am a mature guy, but I met my girlfriend nearly a year and a half ago. we grew from friends into what I thought was a great relationship 6 months into our friendship. How little did I know, she nearly ended it with me 6 months later as I had been making her life a misery and stupid me didnt even realise. I had hurt her a lot with things I did, said..and how i generally acted. I looked at myself and realised that I loved her, and I changed to get her back. The relationship was going from strength to strength after that, until she had to leave for her 12 months stint in Africa, which she had planned even before I had met her. I am so proud of her, and I am positively beaming after I call her, and she says the same about me. She is quite busy now as she is only 23 (I am 27) and in charge of an education curriculum in a poor district of a counrty in Africa. We are holding it together, I call her as often as my funds allow, and I am travelling Africa in Summer 06 and will see her then. The question I want to ask is...is it normal that when I call her, from time to time she doesnt sound happy to hear me, and it makes me feel like I am not wanted? I do think maybe I am being too sensitive and not taking into account she may have had an awful day. I think a lot of my problem is trust, we have both had our 'pasts', mine was one of the reasons we nearly broke up. Also we are from different religious backgrounds, and our future always is a point of tension. Can anyone offer any pearls of wisdom? Please?!
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female
reader, Racky +, writes (30 December 2005):
 hi
i advise that you just mention to your girlfriend, just say that it's not that you don't trust her or anything but sometimes it feels like she doesn't want you and just want a little reasurrance from her every now and then. Have you thought of staying in africa for a while and taking a interest in what she is doing. It feels that you both need to talkabout what you both want from the relationship. overall it may just be the adjustment of a long distance relationship taking a little bit of a toil on you both. Have you tried both going on a holiday together and spending some quality time together. good luck and all the best in the future to you both.
racky
A
female
reader, askme +, writes (30 December 2005):
I think that as you say you are being slightly over sensitive however if you feel that your girl friend does not seem happy to hear from you then you should ask her if there is a problem. You may be right in thinking that she has an awful day, but if she has then she may want to talk about it, but you will not know until you ask. It may not be that she does not want to talk to you but she may be very busy. She may even feel down talking to you sometimes because she misses you a lot and talking to you may bring up these feelings. As i said at the begining i would ask her if there is anything wrong and that you are always there for her. If you have a problem with trust then maybe you need to seek help for that or look back into your past and look to see what has caused this and adress this. The chances are both of you feel alot better after you see her in the summer. Hope this has helped.
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