A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi there,I have been with my boyfreind for three years, we moved in together last december and a few months later he said he needed space to figure things out, so to give him what he needed i moved back home with family. (he had more money so he chose to stay living in the flat we had at the time, with the contract someone had to stay in the flat, but he felt he couldnt get through his thoughts with me there)During this time we stayed together as boyfriend and girlfriend meeting up when we could and staying in touch through phone and internet.He moves back home with with his family this december, but he has recently said he is now ready for everything.So i asked if he would like to move in with me early next year maybe february time, but it sounded like he wasnt sure or just didnt want to? it sounded like excuses. I dont understand, what could be wrong?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (30 November 2012):
 If he’s going to be ready to move in with you now why is he going back home in December and then getting a place again in February? It sounds to me like he’s going to put it off again… why not just move in with him now?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2012): I don't see any serious problems here. don't worry.But by looking at your age range (22-25 right?), I guess you could use some advice.A guy needs to feel he's in control of his life. It's his nature. His instinct. A woman who tries to make plans for him usually ends up scaring him away. These women are called "pushy" or "control freak" if you will.Specially, a woman who feels the need to marry is the best example of a pushy woman. She has already chosen her wedding dress, arranged her ceremony, even chosen the groom's outfit, in her mind. And when she shares her plans with her potential husband, the guy feels he's trapped. And he will run for his life!Be a little bit more clever. Let him feel in control. If you want to move in with him in February, make him feel that he needs to be with you in February. Then let him ask. Your answer can be something like this: "Well, if you say so".I'm sure your mom and aunts have a few secrets to share with you about this situation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2012): Tell him to pick a date then. Also what kind of excuses specifically? They may actually be relevant.
Sounds to me like he doesn't like living with you though but also doesn't want to break up. It happens OP, sometimes it doesn't matter how much you love someone, you just hate living with them.
I've had that before. Every annoying little habit, just having them around etc. felt really claustrophobic and like I was being smothered. Some people just don't work well living together.
Ask him if that's the case. OP asking you to move out is a step backwards in the relationship, you need to find out why exactly it was he felt he needed space from you in the first place. What thoughts did he need space for?
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