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When he's not willing to talk about whatever is bugging him and just sits there being cranky, what should I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 August 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 26 August 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Me and my boyfriend have been together for some time now and we love each other very much. Our relationship is great! We don't fight, and we make each other happy :)

First some background information:

My boyfriend's personality is hard to explain, the only way I can think of putting it is that he's really intense. He loves to help out with things, and gets super excited or stressed easily. A very hard worker. He's very loving, and quite sensitive but he tries to be manly and cover it up. (It's quite cute at times, cause I know when he's hiding it)

I always jokingly tease him and call him a cranky old man, because well, that's how he gets sometimes.

(Picture an 80 year old who just got ding dong ditched by some teenagers..haha)

When he gets cranky, he lets whatever is bugging him get to him so much that it can ruin his whole day; sometimes making it difficult to get things done.

He won't talk, and just sits there making a cranky face.

I'm the closest one to him, so sometimes he unknowingly takes it out on me. He never yells at me or gets physical or anything like that, he kinda just sits there like a big lump and won't talk. At first it confused me, and I thought I did something wrong so I would worry.. Later on he explained that he tends to pull away from everyone when he's mad, and not to worry cause it had nothing to do with anything I might have done.

He does talk to me about his problems, and he comes to me for advice very often... but sometimes he says he just doesn't want me to worry about it, that he can handle it, and bottles it all up. I don't like to force it out of him, so I normally just let him be for the rest of the day.

So anyways, my question is: When he's not willing to talk about whatever is bugging him and just sits there being cranky, what should I do?

Just let him handle it? or try and get him to talk without being too pushy?

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A male reader, Cerberus_Raphael Sweden +, writes (26 August 2010):

Cerberus_Raphael agony auntI know when something large is bothering me, I tend to isolate myself and deal with it mentally, I don't know if that's what your boyfriend is doing but I can tell you that what you've been doing is already good enough. Just be there when he needs you.

I hope that helps.

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