A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really need advice about my relationship with my boyfriend (I'm 16 and he's 17). I've been with him for just over 6 months and I love him too pieces.However saying this it kills me the way he is with me. He told me I wasn't allowed to see my lad mates, (I don't flirt or anything there just my best mates) and tbh I was pretty upset that I couldn't see them but I agreed because I wanted him to be happy but he was always talking to girls and meeting up with them so I told him how it made me feel and that I didn't think it was fair that he was meeting girls and he would go mad if I even spoke to my lad mates.He promised he wouldn't do it and everything was okay till he slept over at this girls house (she is his mate but he used to proper like her) I rang him that night asking if I could meet him and he made some excuse and I automatically knew where he was. He got sooo mad cuz I was upset that he'd gone behind my back and lied to me but we stayed together and he promised not to do it. I was talking to my mum about the way I feel and I was at an all time low. I'd never felt so lonely and unwanted in my whole life. I felt like if I just disappeared or died then noone would even notice or care. When I get back from school I'd just hide away until my boyfriend came round and then we'd go out and once I was back home I'd go to my room and cry. I didn't know what was wrong and my mum was getting worried and upset about me so she took me to the doctors and they prescribed me with some anti-depressants.I told my boyfriend about 2 week after going to the doctors and explained how I felt and he was so understanding. He didn't make a big deal out of it and just treated me how anyone should be treated.Not long after this we had a massive argument and he said I use this as an excuse and he always told me how shit I made him feel even though I only spoke about it once when I told him everything.Last week we went out with my mates and I was messing around on his phone and he knew I was on it. I went on facebook to go on my account and he'd left his up and had messages to this other girl mate telling her he loved her. I walked off and he came after me and said it didn't mean anything, so I said to him that if it was only this one time then he wouldn't mind me going through his texts (I know I shouldn't but I was so angry and upset) He did let me and I didn't find anything till I saw this girls name. I clicked on it and there were all texts saying how he thinks her body is amazing and he wants to do stuff with her cuz I'm "impossible" (we havent slept together) and that I'm going to be a "40 year old virgin" he also said that he wants a lap dance off her. And he still couldn't see what was the problem so I went home. The next day he rang me and said that he didn't know what to do so I just told him to let me know when he knows. He rang me later telling me he was sorry and I forgave him but said I can't carry on if your going to go behind my back again and he's promised he won't.I just don't know what to do anymore, when he's being nice he treats me like a princess and like I'm the only girl in the world he ever wants. He tells me that he doesn't mind waiting to have sex or anything because he loves me and only wants to lose it to me. But when we argue the same thing comes up saying that I should have slept with him by now and that he wants to meet other girls.I can't bare the thought of losing him but at the minute being with him is so difficult I just don't know what to do.Can someone please just give me some advice. x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (24 April 2010):
 Please listen to the female anon who was the first to reply. This guy is controlling, and relationships with guys like that end badly. There are good guys out there who will treat you like a princess 24/7. Please find one of them.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2010): Hey. Im 19 years old and ive been in your situation. Il tell you about it.When i was 15 years old i started a relationship with a boy the same age as me, everything was good. Until we hit about 4 months in, he stopped me speaking to boys, deleted them off my mobile contacts, and eventually he made me show him my facebook. It started off as not allowed to speak to boys, and as the relationship progressed it got worse, i wasnt allowed to go out with out him, yet he went out drinking and cheating on me with other girls. I went out one night in the car with my dad to asda, i drove past this pub (he was only 17 but had fake id) and he was outside kissing a 15 year old girl.It wont happen again he said, and i forgave him. Then he was texting another girl telling her he liked her, and bitching about me to her, i found out, forgave him, he eventually slept with that girl sweetie. I could bet the same will happen to you if it hasnt already. Unforutnatly for me i had already started a sexual relationship with him, and i had to be tested for sti's. I heard rumours about him cheating all the time, but i believed i loved him and stayed with him. When i was 17 years old, i was still with him, living a life of hell, i decided to just go out, whats the worse that could happen? I was fed up of feeling worthless. Well he found out, rang me at 1 o clock in the morning saying he needed to see me urgently. I left and went to meet him, where i met him too i could see my house. Thats where he hit me.I ended up in hopsital with a broken jaw and nose. I have 3 plates in my jaw, 26 stitches inside my mouth, 11 on the outside of my face, and i cant feeling my bottom lip or chin as my nerves were so badly damaged from the operation.Get out whilst you can. Please. Your 16/17 years old, you have your whole life to live. Dont end up like me. I was stupid and forgave him when all the warning signs are showing. Read your story. The alarm bells should be ringing.
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