A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three months now. Everything was okay before one of his ex girfriends decided that she wanted to "reconnect". From the actions he is showing he doesn't want her back but she has basically pushed him over the edge. Now he is talking about he doesn't know what he wants and that he doesn't need to be in a relationship. He says he still loves me and that he always will but When he tried to break up with me I started crying so hard he started crying to and said he would stay. He doesn't text or call me like he used to though. I'm so confused because I love him so much already. What am I supposed to do???????
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your advice. We unfortunately have broken up. I still miss him though. This transition to just friends is killing me but I'm making it. ;)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2013): You should let him go and move on. He tried to break up with you which shows he has made his choice. He just chickened out on following through because your crying freaked him out. Guys dont like having a crying female on their hands and will say anything in desperation to get the crying female to stop. It doesn't change his heart and what he truly wants which is to leave so that's why his behavior is like that of a person who doesn't want to be here. And if he is so easily swayed by the reappearance of his ex that means he was never truly yours to begin with. Just let him go. You will be ok.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 February 2013):
 basically the crying you did emotionally bullied him into staying with you.
Once a boy comes to you and wants out, there is no sense in trying to keep him as yours.. he's already gone...
call him and say you thought it over and he's right you two are better off apart. then hang up and go cry... and cry and cry and cry...
and write long letters you will never send....
and miss him and mourn the loss....
sadly this is the worst part of growing up.. the painful parts... but in the end you will surive.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (21 February 2013):
 Game over. Move on.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (21 February 2013):
 you crying so hard made him feel bad and guilted him into staying with you when he knew he shouldn't. he took you back to spare you the pain. but he still doesn't want to be in the relationship and he's not invested in it the way he needs to be. that's why he's not calling or texting like he used to.
you should let him go. let him be single. you can't force him to stay with you if he's unhappy. i know it's not easy, but the sooner you let him go, the better you'll both be in the long run. good luck and head up.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (21 February 2013):
 I agree with the others. Your relationship is over now, even though he backed off when you reacted to his breakup of you.
You can't let any guy make you react like that in front of him. If he wants to break up to go run back to some ex he says he doesn't even want to be with, you should let him.
Your boyfriend is immature. Let him go, and he'll remember why he dropped his ex in the first place. Don't let him play you like a yo-yo, bouncing back and forth between you and his ex.
Break up with him, then find a couple of good close friends to commisserate with, let them cheer you up, and then you'll find a much better guy who isn't so flaky.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (20 February 2013):
It's hard to hurt someone you care about, as he found out when he tried breaking up with you. Although he may not have technically broken up with you, he basically did as evidenced by how little he's contacted you since.
The best thing for you would be to stop with the fake relationship and move on. It'll be hard but you'll recover quickly.
As you grow up you'll learn that moving on from a doomed relationship instead of hanging on will save you a lot of heartache.
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A
female
reader, Volunteeredtohelp +, writes (20 February 2013):
Why were you crying? Obviously he didn't want to hurt you but he doesn't want to be with you. You can't just make him stay, and crying doesn't resolve anything it's not like you've been dating for years that your in love which would hurt more It was only 3 months. he's not texting you because he wants it to be over and since you started crying you made it harder for him to do do. Honey if he doesn't know what he wants let him go. He should be able to figure out what he wants, give him his space if he wants you he'll come back.Jen
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