A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, i am dating a really great guy and I like him a lot. The thing is just when he gets intimate I don't feel anything. I really like him. I like kissing and touching but when we go any further it stops. I don't feel anything. I'm not repulsed or anything negative but I don't feel what i think I'm suppose to feel. I'm still a virgin so is that it? Just because I am inexperianced? Because I am attracted to him and I want to be intimate with him. I just don't feel anything.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lina319 +, writes (29 April 2009):
 This question is a tad bit hard to answer since "I don't feel anything" can mean a few things. I am assuming that since he is a great guy, and you like him a lot that you not feeling anything has more to do with your body, rather than your mind.
Could it just be that you are nervous? I have noticed that when I tend to focus on a body part of mine that may not seem so flattering, it takes away from the real experience. If your boyfriend has had more sexual encounters you may feel that due to his experience you may not be able to fulfill his desires, and due to that back thought you cant enjoy yourself. But if he cares about you that shouldn't be an issue.
Also every womans body is different. There are women who have plenty of sex and never orgasm. Then there are women who have minimum sex, but when they do they have strong orgasms. It all depends.
Again there isn't enough information since you dont mention how far you have gone with a man. If you havent gotten past second base, it will take some time to get used to being intimate. The more comfortable you get the better your mind can focus on how good it feels.
Another thing to consider is, it may not be you but him. Just because you are a virgin does not mean you have no idea what you like and what you dont like in the bedroom. Even people with experience can fall short sometimes with certain individuals. Not everyone will like the same thing. Your boyfriend might just be doing things that dont necessarily light a fire in you, those issues you need to realize yourself and then discuss with him if necessary.
I hope this kind of helped you. If not, sorry, others will come by and answer :)
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