A
male
age
,
*rno
writes:I am a man in his early 50's,,very fit and keep in good shape.I am also married with 2 teenage daughters,and another step daughter from my wife's previous marriage.We all had a lovely pleasant family unity until my step daughter started maturing and at the age of 16 has become a very lovely young woman.Trouble is she knows it and if there is a private moment she flaunts herself unashameably.I am in a quandry as i don't want to hurt her feelings and tell her off and also i dont want to tell her mother and get her into trouble.It is also so difficult to hide my natural feelings from her too.Sometimes i feel i am spinning out of control,,,,,,,,, anyone out there who can make a constructive suggestion???? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2010): Put that child in her place before she brings your world down.
Talk to her and be sure the mother knows what is going on. Temptations come in so many ways.
God help you, if you so much as touch that girl the world will be a small place for you. That is why you need to stop the little devil in her before she gets to you.
A
male
reader, Brno +, writes (24 February 2010):
Brno is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear All,
Once again thank you for all your support and would like to give you all feed back as to this problems conclusion.
I decicided to visit my step daughters school psychologist to see what her opinion was.To my surprise i found out that she has been seeing the psychologist for about a year now.The problem appears to be that she has been ignored by her father to the point of him disowning her.I was completely oblivious as to what was happening even though my wife did mention that she must be hurting.Suppose i was too wrapped up in my work for me to notice.
The sequal to all of this,is that the psychologist,who incidentally is a lovely compassionate lady, my daughter and myself have agreed to have a weekly get together in order to help her overcome her dilemna.
And well done to all of you who do this wonderfull help line
Brno
...............................
A
female
reader, Tigerlily  +, writes (23 February 2010):
"The flaunting varies from being inadvertant to brazen to the point of walking from the bathroom to her bedroom in the nude.Normally she would have a towel wrapped round herself. On one occasion she walked into my study and asked to borrow something."
So go out and buy her a terry robe and give it to her saying, sweetheart, you are a young woman now, and it's not appropriate behavior to walk about the house naked or in your underwear. That is what robes are made for.
...............................
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (22 February 2010):
Well in that case, her behavior doesn't require a gentle approach. You tell her firmly and loudly "put some clothes on NOW." You should not tolerate it. Just imagine that its one of your younger daughters behaving like this. Its completely inappropriate and she needs you the adult to set the ground rules. I think you should also tell her mother to talk to her about her behavior. She is not 5 anymore and she needs to act her age.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010): I don't think that she is flaunting it for your attention, it sounds likle she is just comfortable with her body, so get over it.
...............................
A
male
reader, Kenneth +, writes (22 February 2010):
You will be labelled as pedophile if you ever..ever mess with her. Look the other way now and tell your wife before she accuses you of seducing her. If you don't, you are risking going to jail for molestation. BE VERY VERY CAREFUL HERE PAL!
...............................
A
male
reader, Brno +, writes (22 February 2010):
Brno is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for the well intentioned advice,it is much appreciated and thank goodness i am at last not alone in working it all out.
In answer to two of the letters, the flaunting varies from being inadvertant to brazen to the point of walking from the bathroom to her bedroom in the nude.Normally she would have a towel wrapped round herself.On one occasion she walked into my study and asked to borrow something.
Thank you all once again
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): How specifically does she flaunt herself? Is she showing some or all of her "private parts?" And does she look at you when she does that to see what your reaction is? I think she is looking for validation that she is attractive to men, and if she notices you staring, that will tell her she is attractive to men.
The other thing may be that she is jealous of your two other daughters and is looking for more attention from you, so this may be her way of getting it. I wouldn't tell her mother about it just yet. You might just tell her the next time she dresses nice that she looks very lovely and is going to be a very beautiful woman, and make a great wife to some lucky man. That might end her flaunting because she may be only looking for some kind of verbal validation. Many teenage girls are very insecure about their looks and are constantly comparing themselves to other girls they know. So flaunting herself in front of you may be her way of coping with that and making herself feel that she is desirable. Good luck and post back to let us know if you have any other questions or if she grows out of this.
...............................
A
female
reader, Angzw +, writes (21 February 2010):
In what way does she flaunt herself?
...............................
A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (21 February 2010):
She's a 16 year old girl who is just beginning to mature and learning that she is attractive. We live in a culture that is all about youth and sex so she is taking her cues from that. If you have 2 teenage daughters with your wife then you have been this girls stepfather for many years. So think like a father not like a man and get a hold of yourself. As her father, it's your job to gently, but firmly, sit her down and tell her that her behavior is inappropriate and then explain what is appropriate behavior. Treat her the same way you would treat your own daughter.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): Hi well i think u should speak to your partner about this just explain how it makes u feel.as it is not right for your step daughter to put u in that situation.i see it as a dangerous game if u do not speak now.And especially if u don,t want to talk to your step daughter incase she does take it the wrong way . It is not your fault in her doing this even if she has started to make u maybe feel good to see her act this way .As basically it is her doing it .i do hope you will talk to your partner or wife.before it spirals out of control.
...............................
A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (21 February 2010):
 You are the adult. And like it or not, you need to put her in her place. Let her mother know what is going on. This wil save you a lot of heartbreak in the future.
Good Luck,
Jeff
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): If she is deliberately flashing you tell her to stop.
...............................
|
