A
male
age
30-35,
*ate3
writes:Hi! So, I'm getting married soon and I been reading a lot about sex preparing somewhat for it. My fiancé has told me that she has had 1 sexual partner and they only did it twice the same day she lost her virginity. One worry that she has is our first time will be painful for her. I wanted to know if that would be the case considering she has had a sexual partner? I know it is pain for woman the first time they have sex, but I don't know if it continues to hurt for them. Please help me. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Nate3 +, writes (1 October 2012):
Nate3 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks you so much for all the feedback! Will surely put it into practice. Thanks!
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (1 October 2012):
When my wife refrained from sex for an extended time - such as the month after our first child was delivered by Caesarean - she said that the first intercourse was uncomfortable.
The others gave good advice: make sure she is very aroused before you enter her. It is probably a good idea to approach this like first-time sex between two virgins:
- Early in the foreplay, have her help you to climax using her hands, mouth, etc. This will "take the edge off" for you, and help you be more attentive to her.
- Bring HER to orgasm using YOUR hands, mouth, etc. This will make her as relaxed, open, lubricated and ready to receive you as she will ever be.
- You lay on your back, have her get on top and guide you in. She can control the location and angle of entrance, rate of insertion, pace and depth of stroking. It may help her to think, "I am going to envelope his erection with my vagina." rather than "He is going to stick it into me.". There is NO WAY you can know what she is feeling and this approach let's her get everything just right.
I hope you two have taken steps so your first coupling can end with your natural, naked genital, insemination inside her vagina. Contraception and STD's are VERY REAL problems that must be considered, but "condoms" isn't the only answer. (And, if one or both partners is a virgin, not an especially good answer.) Speaking as a guy and former wedding-night virgin, there really is something psychological about giving her your virginity as you consummate your marriage this way.
You should also be sure the two of you are at least aware of the "retroactive jealousy" problem that people - especially virgins, of either gender - can have with their partner's previous sex partners.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (30 September 2012):
 Pain during sex doesn't have anything to do with the newness of it, it's all about arousal. When sex is new it's harder for her to know when she's aroused enough and also harder for her to relax enough for it not to hurt. It doesn't stop hurting as you go on, if I tried to just jump right in and have sex immediately without foreplay it would still hurt.
Just make sure she's REALLY REALLY aroused. Get her close to orgasm before trying. Add some lube, and then it shouldn't hurt at all.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 September 2012):
 as long as I am very aroused and well lubricated and my partner is concerned about my well being, (like you are for your fiancee) I have never had pain...
it's only when men rush and think we turn on instantly.
foreplay is the critical thing here... LOTS of romantic foreplay building up to "the act"
...............................
A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (30 September 2012):
 Hi, First congrats on your upcoming marriage.Your fiancee needs to stop worrying. Ideally, her worst is over in the sense that her viriginity has already been taken and for her to do it twice in one day when it was taken is a great feat....usually women are a little sore the first time they have sex and would rather not try it again that very day.Physically, once she is turned on enough and gets lubricated enough during that time, it's just a matter of you taking your time and taking it slow if this is the first time you guys are having sex. But she needs to relax and not think it is going to hurt. Your mind controls the rest of your body and if you keep focusing on ..." oh geez this might hurt or is going to hurt"...guess what..it will. All your muscles and cells will unconciously be preparing for pain because you mind has sent it that message.My advice....wedding night...have some wine, create a relaxing mood, spend alot of time on foreplay and both you and her should be fine. Hope that helps and all the best for you the future.Ana
...............................
|
