A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am confused, nervous and scared all at once. I met a girl a little less than a year ago. We talked about getting involved. She was in a bad relationship. My words and strenght helped her through it. She told me youhave inspired me and unlocked a part of her that she never knew she had.Since we have gotten closer she calls me her best friend. Her rock and back bone. She told somebody I am the only person she can rely on. As we have baan talking alot I have found out alot about her childhood and the constantabuse she has received. There is still alot she has not told me. She is single now and available. She has said we are only going to be friends. She says she is not attracted to me. Which goes against everything she said to me before we starting to really hang out. She hates her mother and has been crashing by my place for a while now. About a month. She sleeps in a separate room.Now I am completely and totally in love with her. I don;t know what to do. I sometimes feel she is afraid to lose what we have and that's why she won't get involved with me. The few times we are apart we text back and forth alot. Saying how much we miss each other and we constantly say we love each other. Now she thinks I am getting too attached. Maybe I am but so is she. She always says how safe she feels with me.I really want a woman's perspective on this.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 September 2009):
She's told you that you will be friends. That's it. Like most nice guys, you fell into the trap of trying to fix someone you hope would would ultimately fall for you. (I've done the same thing three or four times, so don't worry).
The best thing to do is like this relationship for what it is. A great friendship. She's been clear, do don't push anything. Step back and go and find someone else who doesn't need to be rescued.
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