A
female
age
41-50,
*nuffy1
writes:When is enough enough????????????????I'm with my partner over 15 years and we have a mortgage and two kids a two year old and a ten year old and for the last two years since the baby was born we have just not been getting on, fighting over the same things every week, he never wanted another baby and I pressured him into it and now he resents me and baby for it, reminds me every week that he never wanted him, he is so lazy he has'nt worked in years and sits around the house all day, I have to ask him for three months before he'l hang a picture and I go to bed every night at 9 by myself so he can play xbox, I love him but am not in love with him but keep thinking about what we used to have and don't want to be alone and a single mother but this relationship is really dragging me down and depressing me, he plays mind games with me and blames me for everything that's wrong and thinks our relationship is great so I don't know what's real anymore, is it all my fault for looking for more, am I a bitch but deep down I know it's not and that he has just knocked all the confidence out of me but the sad thing is is that he does'nt realise that he is doing anything wrong therefor he will never change,I'm at my wits end here, I have no place to go and I think will I regret it afterwards if I do and how will I cope by myself
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): This is very typical of a couple with children, where things change and seem to stay negative without change, day after day. As much as both of you will feel you are working harder with the relationship, with less happiness than the other one, you both need to accept that a trained counsellor can help you work to alleviate your differences and carry on having a happy relationship, as well as keeping things together for your children. Your pride and judgement will make you believe that there is no hope in your togetherness, and that splitting is the answer, but once you finally reach a decision to seek couples counselling, you will have the potential for great, permanent change, depending on how willing you are in the future, to apply the advice and direction given to you by your counsellor. Please do agree to go together, and if your partner doesn't want to, go for yourself anyway, just to learn how to live with each other. People generally believe that they know within themselves how to live, without having to seek any direction or help from a counsellor, but no relationship is perfect, and sooooooo many people rely on it to save their relationships, with mostly positive results. My wife and I are going, ourselves, so I can speak from experience that it made the difference between leaving and losing everything and loving each other in a better way, and learning how to cope with each other to get there. I used to believe I could deal with any situation, but then my wife came along, and she changed drastically after our children were born and stayed that way, and I can't explain how bad everything was, but now the counselling is working and it's completely turned everything around, and I now know that sometimes people have to turn to an outside source to get the right direction, rather than relying on our own sense of judgement, common sense and stubborness. You'll start to see what you have to gain in your relationship, as opposed to what you have to lose, and thoughts of throwing away everything you love. Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): From ur posti do not think there is any major problem that you have. I feel it is some thing like creating problem of no problems. All these are minor issues that you can adjust or get him adjusted.
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A
female
reader, raiders  +, writes (28 April 2010):
 Try counseling first A marriage always deserves a chance to be saved. You have a home and children and should not have to feel trap in a relationship. You shouldn't feel trap in a marriage and you will know when enough is enough and will make a decision than. Your marriage might still be save-able go and take him to counseling.
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A
female
reader, It's all be okay  +, writes (27 April 2010):
It sounds like you need to do something.
I think you should consider getting marriage guidance counselling, for you both to air your feelings, and see if you can make changes to save the marriage, or whether, as you say, enough is enough.
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