A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:When do you know when to break up? Me and my boyfriend have been together about 6 months, which might not sound very long, but its by far my most serious and long term relationship. Most of the time I'm so happy with him, but sometimes I feel like he takes me for granted and doesnt really try very hard. Like I'll ask if he wants to come over and he'll be like 'um... I dont know i've got some work to do.... and I did see you on tuesday so...' Its making me upset and I dont know if its time to end things? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (31 October 2012):
 I've "been there" DOZENS of times... so can tell you this:
When she (he) slams the door in your face and says, "Get the f**k AWAY from me... and DON'T COME BACK, OR ELSE I'LL CALL THE POLICE"..... OR, when she (he) says: "Don't call, don't write, don't email, don't stop by.... I am OVER YOU.... and NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR UGLY FACE AGAIN..."
.... THOSE are strong hints that it's time to break up...
Good luck....
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (31 October 2012):
 I know that things are different in the UK, compared to the US, so if you are willing to listen to a more conservative reply, here is my opinion.
I agree with k c100 that you are acting too immature. Too immature for the relationship, but not too immature for your age.
You are quickly becoming emotionally dependent on your Boyfriend. You don't quite know how to handle that so you are making demands he is uncomfortable with.
So how to handle it. Your emotional maturity is not up to the level of emotional connection you are starting to feel for this guy, so yes break it off. Be fair to him and give yourself some time to grow more before you try to get that close to someone else. You are young and have lots of time for 3 to 4 month relationships. When you are older and more ready for a long term (possibly permanent) relationship, then let your sell get as attached as you are starting to feel now.
So Yes Break up now, but not for the reason you think. Or, If you now feel you are ready to commit long term start working seriously on your maturity in dealing with his absence. Remember that his interesting to you because he has other interests. His work and hobbies are part of the personality you like. If you make him give them up there is a good chance you will start to lose interest in him.
FA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012): There's an 80/20 rule you might like to think about adopting (or make it a 90/10 rule). If things are great 80% of the time or more...then you are in a good relationship. Things generally are not wonderful 100% of the time.
When your bf can't see you, say "that's ok, enjoy ...(whatever he is doing)..." then go and get busy yourself, and ENJOY that time with your other friends, or family or a hobby you love to do. Your boyfriend will respect this about you, and want you more!
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (31 October 2012):
 Just because he is busy with work doesnt mean you should break up with him! You need to grow up a bit I'm afraid, in the real world people are busy, and just because he cant see you every night whenever you ask him to doesnt mean that he takes you for granted.
Have you thought about maybe agreeing the days you see each other? Perhaps suggest you see each other twice during the week (maybe tuesday and thursday) and then saturday and sunday at the weekend. That way you know you have set days to see each other, and on the other days you can get work done, see friends etc. That way neither of you feel hurt if the other is working or something, because that wont happen anymore on the nights you plan to see each other.
I definitely dont think you have any reason to end this, if you were unhappy 24/7 then fair enough, end the relationship. But if you are happy most of the time and all you are upset about is him being a bit busy and not wanting to see you all the time, that is no big deal.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012): Darling you should read my "how to tips when your bf no longer loves you" if you find yourself taking for granted, if you feel like the relationship will only work IF YOU WORK HARD FOR IT then its time to leave. I am a believer of LOVE, but i also believe that it always takes Two to tango, if the other one is no longer cooperating, what can you do?its time to break up with him if you see the ff signs: on My how to's. Enjoy reading..Seems like most of the questions or confusions of females from here are all about how to tell if their bf's loves them? or Does Their ex still Cares for them? Or how can you really tell when a relationship is really over? To Sum it all, Its all about How to Tell if your bf's no longer in love with you?To help you end your confusion i have here a "Checklist or Winning signs to tell your bf is no longer in love with you"or(Losing interest)1. Time. If he cant spend the amount of time he used to spent with you, its a sure sign his pulling back a little. Its called break it to her gently sign..2. He will tell you he loves you more often, but can't be with you.He has some where else to go.(If you love someone you want to be with them more than anything unless its between life and death situation)3. He cant call you or text you 'coz his busy or he forgot to do so.I mean seriously?? Busy is another word for an asshole...It takes a minute to text and call. Forget? really? you forgot the one whom you shared intimate moments with? Tell it to the marines...4. His o.k disappointing your expectation.Because if you mean the world to him he will always see to it that at least he meets your expectation. Not all the time but at least will consider your feelings.5. If he don't contact you for a week, two, three or a month or so. 'Coz if he loves you and still have interest it would not take that long.. he'll be crazy Not to.. But since he can.. Time to face it his no longer in love and have lose his interest.6. If you catch him looking for a female friend online or talking to his ex gf, girl your not good enough for him anymore so he starts looking for someone else.So are you still in a dream land or my 5 signs have given you a more realistic answer to your confusion. Sometimes were just so blinded by baby i love you lines, your so pretty, ill marry you someday.. but is he really making an extra effort to those words he say?? Remember words without action is empty.Any actor can deliver those lines even with tears. I hate guys who use tears to make their lies appears so real. But then their action doesn't support their words..But on the other hand, its still our choice whether to buy those lies and continue to ask and confuse ourselves. The truth is men are so easy to read, there's no confusion about their actions.You just have to learn to accept when they start to lose interest, Its really Over. Hope this helps you... Be brave, never be afraid to LET GO, otherwise you'll missed MR. RIGHT if you FOCUS with Mr. Wrong...
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