A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I just read a quote that spoke to me. "Never give all yourself to someone who has not made a life commitment to you...dating should not have the same benefits as marriage"Well I truly believe in this quote but question myself. I've been hurt badly and I feel like giving my heart to anyone will be difficult. I've taken two years off to date myself and have found inner peace. Got closer to God and told myself only Christ deserves my all.It is then that a lovely man walked into my life and doing things I'm not used to like being persistent. He's talked about his quest to marryme. I know and believe he loves me. But my vow to never give my heart or my all to a man may be hurting us.I find myself withdrawing as we got closer almost like a defense mechanism to not get hurt.To be honest, he hasn't done nothing wrong but I feel like I want him to show me more like prove his love more. When he mentioned to me three days ago that he wants my heart that someone has really treated my heart badly, I felt sorry for him. I almost belted out "I need you to show me more" but I didn't. If I did, will that have been a stupid request?My question is when do you completely let all your walls down and let a man love you? When does a man make a lifetime commitment? Is it when he puts a ring on it or overtime when you've been through difficult times or could it be just the simple things he does like being persistent? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (28 October 2014):
 Thats excellent you took time off to heal. Depending on what has happened in your past you may need counseling or time to heal. Seems you are getting there to open up again which is great just make sure u embrace a man and dont withdraw once u feel something for him. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am opening up my heart and will try to take that risk. Thankyou
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (27 October 2014):
My dear OP,
Open your heart as soon as you think that you could survive if it gets broken again.
It's more about your inner readiness than about what he does. He could be the best guy on earth, if you can't risk a heart-break, you can't open up. Love is always a risk, even with the best and most honest man. Love is beautiful and unpredictable, it will take you on a journey where, again and again, you will have to face your worst fears of abandonment, of helplessness, of not being good enough.
A man may make a lifetime commitment to you, giving you a ring, and meaning it in all honesty. But no one knows what time may bring. If love should last, there needs to be mutual commitment, matching goals, and also similar needs and ways of fulfilling them to each other. You can't know how well this relationship will turn out in the end. Love is never a sure thing. Love is a risk.
So, open up your heart if you're ready to embrace the risk of this journey. It's an adventure and many things could go wrong or turn out in an unexpected way.. but some say it's better to go on a risky journey, than to stay home in safety, for the rest of your life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2014): To be fair sounds like you are similar to me! I really can not find a girl I like all of or feel I can make a relationship work with . They either annoy me in some way or I feel we will clash! or they are not attractive to me as well as getting on with them.,
but basically I am making excuses myself not to proceed and I got hurt in a relationship before so maybe it is automatic for the barrier to be up.
good luck though
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