A
female
age
41-50,
*rista
writes:Eight months ago I got a divorce from my high school sweetheart. We started dated when I was 16 and were together for 11 years. During that time we stopped using birth control because it didnt matter to us if we expanded our family. (we have 2 kids already). After our divorce I wasn't forcused on dating, since my main focus was on my young kids. Three months ago my insurance agent Steve, asked me to go out for dinner. Our friendship slowly turned into a relationship but we agreed to take it slow and just kinda hang out and see what happens. Since sex was the last thing on my mind I didn't think about birth control. A month ago we ended up having sex for the first time shortly after that I went and got birth control. But last week I was late and i took a home pregnancy test this morning and it was positive. I don't know what to do. Our relationship is so new, we have never talked about kids or our future or anything like that.I dont believe in abortion. How do I tell the guy I just started dating that I am pregnant? I have no idea how he will reacted? Should I tell him right away or should I wait a few more weeks/ months? Please answer I really need the advice I am stressing my self out!
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female
reader, krista +, writes (25 September 2009):
krista is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell shortly after posting this question , Steve just happened to stop by out of the blue. My kids were asleep so I took the time to tell him that I was pregnant. We were just sitting on the couch and I just blurted it out and broke down into to tears. He was shocked none the less but supportive. It took him a few minutes before he could gather any words to say, but when he did the first thing he said " please tell me your are going to keep this baby". which was a relief that he had the same views and me.
Then we just spent the rest of the evening just letting everything sink in. We didn't discuss who would we make everything right, we just agreed that what ever happens we would have a child that needed BOTH of us. You could say I got to see Steves true colors, and I believe that he will be a stand up guy :) Before he left last night he was actually happy, he still had a look of shock on his face but he left with a huge smile also.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): Since you say you are able to support any childeren you have then I guess your decision would be based on whether or not this man factors into the equation. Do you want to have him be an ongoing partner in your life with regards to your child.
If he chooses not to continue a relationship with you, do you want him to have access to your child to battle you for custody or to pay his share of the support?
I think from an ethical standpoint, he deserves to know he is about to have a child in this world.
But from a practical standpoint, if you don't need his assistance then I guess you are not required to tell him of your pregnancy.
The choice is up to you since abortion is out of the question for you.
Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): Of course you are going to have to tell him. I don't know how he will react as well. I'm sorry for the situation you are in...it's quite complicated. I'd suggest looking into condoms, they work wonders.
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A
female
reader, krista +, writes (25 September 2009):
krista is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst off "Lied to him" I am not sure what you mean. As for tax payers paying for me or my children , I don't think so. There are MANY single mothers out there that do not depend on tax payers money! I have 2 college degrees, I can support myself and any children I have.
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