A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I'm not ready to have sex and I just plain don't want to. I get:"What's the point you said your an athiest""Don't you at least do oral," at least?! Like it's the least I can do?!"Why bother your not a Virginia anyway""You should of said that earlier instead of waiting my time"So when am I supposed to tell then? If I tell roo early I'm assuming things I'm full of myself or it's a challenge Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 June 2023):
""Don't you at least do oral," at least?! Like it's the least I can do?!"
Say: "No." - (It is a complete sentence.)
""Why bother your not a Virginia anyway"" ( I'm guessing virgin was meant?)
Tell him: "It's not ABOUT "preserving" my virginity, it's about being comfortable SHARING my body with someone else."
""You should of said that earlier instead of waiting my time""
Just say: "Well, now you know - and I also know you are not a good fit... Good luck with your next girl. You are NOT OWED sex - from me or anyone else".
"So when am I supposed to tell then? If I tell roo early I'm assuming things I'm full of myself or it's a challenge"
What are you supposed to say/do?
Maybe tell the guy, it's OK if you don't want to wait, go find someone else.
You could say: "I need to FEEL ready for SEX with a person, that might take me 4 months, it might take me 6 or 10" and if the guy can't WAIT he isn't the right one for you. And you, are not the right one for them."
IT IS ABSOLUTELY Ok to wait until you feel comfortable with a new(er) partner to have sex. Like I said earlier NO ONE IS OWED SEX.
And a guy who is more focused on getting sex, than you feeling comfortable, is not the right guy for you.
While some girls might not care or need to feel comfortable with a new(er) partner - YOU do, so LISTEN to your gut and trust in it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2023): Whatever YOU feel the need to say it!
I don't know where and how you meet men.
If it's on dating apps, I guess you know by now that most of them want sex.
In real life things tend to be a bit different. You have the right to assume that people may look for another type of connection as well.
You do not have to advertise that you're not interested in sex, but you should know if that's a permanent state - in which case you have to narrow your search to like-minded potential partners. If it's not a permanent decisions, when do you think you may want to have sex? You meet a guy, you like him, you get to know him more and and more and you like him lore and more...
If you have experienced a traumatic event, please seek help.
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