A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating this guy for about two years. Things were fantastic and then one by one, little things started bothering us about each other. He told me I put on a lot of weight, was messy and crazy. I couldn't stand his pot addiction, obsession with rap lyrics, and needing to watch every football game in NY.I realized I had completely changed my life for him (i.e. cooked for him, cleaned up after him, did his laundry, learned everything about his favorite sports teams, etc.) yet didnt feel appreciated about it.I confronted him that I wanted a break and now his responses are very guarded and cold. He practically ignores me and it is very sad and frustrating. I go through waves of emotion and the uncertainty and unknown scares me!His previous relationships ended because he and his exes cheated on each other. This is different- I felt suffocated with someone unwilling to compromise.What advice do you have for someone that is going through this? Why can't he be an adult with someone he loves?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlso as an addition to this story, I ended up having a conversation with him during our time apart (more than two weeks) and he told me he did not have a desire to get back together with me. It's not that he wants to see someone else, but he likes to be in his room by himself, without any drama or distractions. I, on the other hand, am drama and a distraction.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, Mike. I know the answer is to find someone that is willing to compromise...I just can't believe someone would be unwilling to do so for someone they care about!
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A
male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (24 January 2011):
 I sympathise with you as I understand that each person in a relationship has to make an effort. it's not really very hard unless you are unable to compromise. Sometimes you have to indulge the other person and sometimes you have to be indulged. Emotional blackmail is not the answer. If you are in a relationship that is unsustainable don't let it drag on forever.
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