A
female
age
41-50,
*enta
writes:I have been seeing this man since Nov. all was great until Feb. I saw him 3-4 times a week, slept over and suddenly that slowed down. I found out that he sees another girl on my off days, he has no idea I know, I have asked if there are other women and he tells me I am the only one. I saw him on Monday and we were talking and he told me to be patient with him? What does this mean? Does it mean so he can play his games or does it mean to leave him alone or does it mean we will take our relationship slow? I think he is playing games. But I need to know what Be patient with me means, he was married and his wife left him so he has issues. We dont see one another as much and he just think I should back off and let him do his thing?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Luv2giveadvice  +, writes (8 April 2011):
It means he wants to have his cake and eat it too.He is trying to get out there and see whats available,meanwhile keeping you in reserve.Do you really want to be someone's back up plan?
A
female
reader, Naley1289 +, writes (7 April 2011):
 Oh my God. He's seeing someone else? Do you know who the other woman is? How exactly did you find out about the other lady and how much do you know? I have to say that I don't like the fact that he lied to you. If he was seeing someone else he should have said something to you, even if you were going to be upset. I have heard the whole "be patient" with me line before, I have used it while I was seeing two guys also! I actually meant it, I wanted to see which one of them were right for me which turned out neither because I was still in love with my ex. Talk to him. Ask him again if he's seeing anyone else if he lies again then cut him loose! Hope this helped.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (7 April 2011):
 Well, to begin with he lied to you. Not good. I would say: ask him what he means when he tells you to be patient. It's the only way you're going to find out.
Also, you might want to think about telling him you know he's seeing other women - UNLESS you found out by looking at his phone records, or checking his computer, or some such. That will put YOU in a bad light.
The other consideration is that if the two of you are sexually involved, and have agreed not to date anyone else, then there is a real problem. In any case, absent a declared intent not to date others, the fact of having sex implies that you will be mutually exclusive......even so, it would be better to talk about it and have an agreement to be exclusive (or not to be) first, so that you both know where you stand.....
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