A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My sister has depression and she's missing. My mother left to go to meet her boyfriend in Chicago and she was gone for an entire month, she didn't leave us with anything to help pay the rent or the phone bill, cable bill etc. My sister kinda picked up the slack and then a week before our mother came home, my sister just said she was leaving and I haven't seen her since, it's been a year and now I'm sixteen and she's seventeen. I spoke to her once online and she was telling me about her new life and how she wasn't coming back home. The man she's living with and says she's in love with hits her and he's really really possessive. I know I can't make her come home but why won't she reason? She's told me countless times that she wants to be with him and that their relationship is complicated, she likes what he does to her and that's all she can explain. My question is what's wrong with her? Is it some type of medical condition? Can it be explained? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): *Poster of this topic writes:When we were younger my sister was always so spaced out. My mother would get mad at her for not being able to do things and often when my sis couldn't do something our mother would use me as an example of how she should do things. I remember when I . . . six I think or seven, she walked up to this man and grabbed him around the waist and asked him if he loved her. We were in the food court at the mall and she just walked up to this random white guy and asked him if he loved her. And surprisingly enough he told her: "Yes, I love you." I was so shocked and scared that I practically dragged her away by the hand. And, weirdly enough ever since then she's had this . . .fascination if it can be called that, with white males. It's ok with me but my mother is kinda racist so she would put her down a lot when she saw my sis looking at them.Another reason my sister left was because of my mom's boyfriend, She loathes this man with a passion and basically my mother would try and force her to respect and obey him. Once my sis got so mad about it that she took a butcher knife to a box of cereal. I still live with my mother and since my sister ran away I've started to feel some envy to her. I don't want to but . . . how could she leave me like that? I feel so stranded and alone without her and she's made it very clear that she has no intention of coming home or leaving this guy. She would tell me all the time that she wanted obsessive love. She wanted to be someone moon and sun. I guess she got what she wanted.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): I think your sister has a thing for the "bad boys." There are women who are attracted to those type of men, men who are jerks and very aggressive, because they feel a man like that will protect them from harm (even though they often beat their women). She needs to get out of that situation and get into therapy. You don't say anything about whether you have a father, or whether you had a father and he left, which also may explain why your sister is in love with someone who treats her bad. This kinda behavior happens to girls who grow up in dysfunctional families where there was some kind of neglect or emotional unavailability. Try to get her back to your mom back to your house and get your sister into therapy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): I was my parent's favorite and it hurts for me to say it but I was. Sometimes I'd just feel so sick with myself because I didn't understand why they treated us so different. Sometimes she'd get yelled at for simple little mistakes she made and well, I was reprimanded as well but in a less harsh way. My mother has hopped from one abusive relationship to the next, wether it was verbal, emotional abuse or physical. I just want my sister back.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 August 2008):
 Complicated? How about simple. He hurts her and she lets him. I'm not going to blame her for staying though. Sounds like she has some issues that taint her perception of the situation she's in.
What's wrong with her? Depressions, low self esteem. Let me ask you a question, based on your mom leaving for the time she has. How much positive attention have your parents shown you and your sister growing up? This could answer a big part of the puzzle your trying to figure out.
I'll wait for your reply, then give you more information you'll be able to really understand why this happens.
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