A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice, I have been seeing this guy for a while and I give him oral all the time and it doesn't bother me, however, when he wants to return the favour I wont let him as I don't really like it and I think he is starting to get annoyed with me, I just don't feel comfortable with it because I like to be the one in control. Any advice welcome. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (18 August 2008):
 Like Troubled and Hope said, it is entirely up to you what you want done to your body, and he should respect that, but what you must understand too is ~ it's just a big a turn on for him to do it to you as it is to have it done to him ...by you.
I assure you, if it's done properly, then you will want more. Perhaps a previous experience by him or another has put you off, every man performs oral differently. If you're not happy with the way he does it for you, don't be shy to tell him to try a different technique. Practice does make perfect.
Good luck and hope you find a solution.
BigSis
xXx
A
male
reader, Jmbob83 +, writes (18 August 2008):
My girl loves oral and i love to give it, maybe you dont like it because the positioning / technique isnt right for you. you say that you like to be in control, a good way for you to be incontrol is for you to be ontop. get him to lie down and you kneel above him that way you can lower, raise, move to a point that you like.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): Why don't you like oral? I've only had 4 sexual partners in my life who I dated for any length of time and they all loved receiving oral. Two of them got their best orgasms that way and one probably wouldn't have ever allowed me to get away with me not giving her oral if I hadn't liked it so much.
Oral is like kissing. There are correct ways to do it and incorrect ways. There was a thread on men who were terrible kissers about a month ago. Oral is a lot like that. If he is being too rough giving oral then tell him to be more gentle. My wife doesn't remember getting bad oral sex before she met me. Actually, she doesn't remember getting much at all. Consider yourself lucky that he wants to do it to you.
OK, that being said, it is your decision and he needs to honor your decision. Both people in a relationship need to be comfortable with what they do, sexually and otherwise. He needs to understand that you don't like it and not pressure you into it. You need to talk to him about why you don't like it and perhaps explore how it can be made better so that you do like it. I have not met a woman who didn't like oral and I think that I would greatly miss giving it to my wife or any past girlfriend if they didn't allow me to, but I would have refrained if asked. My wife also likes giving oral and she had a boyfriend who she dated for over a year who wouldn't let her even get close to him down there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): I think that sex is the kind of thing that has to be done on your terms and intimate things like that should all be done only if YOU feel comfortable doing it. It's your body and your feelings so try to stick with things you prefer!
Hope that helped a little!
xx Hope xx
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