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What's wrong with my new boyfriend? Is it over already?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 August 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 4 August 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I moved to a new country and I met a guy 2 months ago. This guy is also from another country (not a local but has been living here for 3 years). During these past 2 months, we spent a lot of time together, he introduced me to some of his friends, and eventually we became boyfriend/girlfriend.

Initially everything seemed fine but then there were 2 incidents (I read his text messages on his phone, he was flirting via texting with other women TWICE while ignoring completely my text messages while I was travelling for work, I'm a flight attendant) which made me think over our new relationship.

So, I told him we should stop seeing each other and stay just friends since he's got reservations about me. He then apologised for the text messages and told me I'm special to him and wants things to work out between us. He invited me to join him on a holiday (he's going to go with his family so that means I'd meet his parents) but I can't due to work reasons (my job requires me to travel all the time).

When I'm not travelling, he asks me to meet up and we hang out at his place/go out to eat but I've noticed that he's always grumpy lately. Yesterday, he invited me to his house and I felt bad as he was just doing some chores (watering his plants, tidying up) and he didnt' seem very interested in me. Yet, he said he's happy to have me there.

I know that he's not in it for the sex as there are plenty of times when we meet up and don't have sex.Sometimes he just places his hand on my leg and that's it, no kissing, nothing. He seems too tired to be bothered.

So, I seriously don't know what's wrong with him. He seems tired and grumpy and I keep asking him what's wrong and he just blames it on his work. He acts strangely sometimes (he's either full of energy/sleepy) and yesterday, I jokingly asked him if he's taking drugs or something as he doesn't seem quite ok. Yet, he's got a very good job and he's good at it so I don't know what to think anymore. He's got a lot of hobbies, besides work so he does have time for himself.

What should I do? Should I give him space? When I'm travelling (for work), he doesn't like keeping in touch but when I'm not he likes to hang out with me, even if it means doing nothing but watching tv like 2 old people who have grown tired of each other!

He's 28, I'm 24

View related questions: drugs, flirt, kissing, text

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (4 August 2010):

Forget him right now. As soon as you said he was texting those other women, I knew you'd picked a lemon. And I've been proven right when you went on to say you'd gone to his house and he spent the time doing chores. I just think you're with a guy who's not interested in your enough. I wouldn't even be surprised if the reason he is tired is that he's seeing other women or something. I have a girlfriend who lives far away, so I see her at weekends. No amount of tiredness would stop me. You're wasting time with this guy.

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