A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years now, I love her very much and I know she loves me, she is beautiful,loyal,kind, everything I could ever want, she is the only girl I have ever had sex with, whereas she has had 4 boyfriends previous and 3 other sexual partners, in the last ear I find myself thinking about her and these other people all the time, comparing myself, everyday it crosses my mind now, I never tell her or let it effect us in anyway, she has no idea, I don't get upset about it at all, I just can't stop thinkin about it, its so stupid, I never thought about it at all for the first few years, is this just tyypical male pride or low self esteem? I no she is deeply in love with me and is happy with me so what is my problem?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2012): Its called Retroactive Jealousy. What you are feeling is COMPLETELY NORMAL.
Its not convenient. Its not fair to her. Its not helpful to your relationship. Its not doing anyone any good. But all that still does not make it abnormal.
A
female
reader, daniellexxxx  +, writes (3 May 2012):
 This is low self esteem.. I have the same problem with my man for years he has said the same thing your thinking. And it gets to point where I feel like ending it that's how much it hurts me that he thinks that..
So I suggest don't tell her your thoughts and just be happy your in such a good relationship don't let the past get you down :)
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A
female
reader, straight to the truth +, writes (2 May 2012):
This girl sounds lovely so dont let your insecurities take over. She is with you, she loves you and she has spent three years with you.......not any of these other men. The reason is because it is YOU who she is happy with and wants to be with and it is YOU who gives her what she wants in life.
Almost everyone will come with a past and its just one of those things but it is a persons past who makes them who they are today and it is your actions now which will determine your future together.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (2 May 2012):
Your problem is that you haven't had sex with anyone else! Then you would have been in a situation like your girlfriend. You would realise that you have quickly forgotten your past and who you are with now is the most special thing you have. You only have to read the posts from young women on DC- the "I think I love him, we had sex, I thought he loved me but now hes gone..etc" to realise how easily men take advantage of young women. And also when very young relationships run out of steam very quickly sometimes. Don't think badly of your girlfriend, even if she has done things she regrets, she was young and has learnt. There is a good and bad to her experiences - on the bad side she knows relationships don't always last and she may be nervous to commit and quick to bail out if she feels insecure. On the good side she knows how good you are and has some experience to compare, and it sounds in your favour. Think about your relationship and the fun you have together, not just sex. After all sex is just a bodily function, it doesn't define a relationship. Do a bit more research, then just forget it all and have fun together. Every time you have a bad thought buy her a present! Good luck.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (2 May 2012):
 I don't know how her relationships ended but her numbers see to suggest that she can get with someone easily and then end the relationships, then start off with another one again. It makes you feel like if you are not up to standard you would be the next one to leave the relationship and be replaced by someone else. That's why you are comparing yourself with them to make sure you are the special one and better. Look at her as who she is right now. Be yourself and if she does not like your real self, it means you are not compatible, and not that you are not good enough.
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