A
female
age
41-50,
*obody's perfect
writes:I have never had a serious relationship before and this, is my ist. I am 26 and my life has been one complicated mess but i am picking up and trudging through one obstacle after another. Recently i met a younger guy who is sincere in commiting. I am ready to finally wear my heart out on my sleeve and settle in the comfort and security of a long term relationship. I'm in no rush as i find it important to build a strong foundation. He is 6 years younger than me and is currently serving his national service. We have been scheduling our quality time together well and his family is welcoming and warm. It's now coming to 7 months and we are doing fine but why am i having negative thoughts? I always feel insecure and i often find myself picturing out senarios where i leave him but i love him and i reject him because he is such a prize and he's better off with somebody who can make him happier than i can. I have a low self esteem and i feel like such a loser for putting all these junk scenes in my mind when really it's simple and everything is fine. I find it almost morbid. What's wrong with me.. I think i'm depressed.
View related questions:
depressed, insecure, self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (14 October 2007):
Basically it come down to the fact that you need to learn that you are worthy of good things and a good life. Obviously your bf thinks so. Get with the plan. He could end up much worse off without you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): It sounds like you may be a little bit of a commitment phobe - perhaps you have been rejected before and this has had more of an impact on you than you are aware of. Having said that, be careful of giving yourself a label. We feel things because very often it is our gut instinct trying to tell us something. We ignore it and try to convince ourselves there is something 'wrong' with us, when usually we are just uncomfortable in a sitation. You love your boyfriend, and yet you talk as if you are planning something with military precision. Yes, it's important to have a strong foundation, but you may meet someone and be married in 6 months if it feels right. Very often loves comes and bites us on the bum and we find that the person we have fallen for doesn't fit our expectations. What I am trying to say is that is sounds as if you are putting pressure on yourself to meet someone great and have a good solid relationship, but you are a young woman - you have all the time in the world and there is no rush to find a relationship that ticks all the boxes. You are thinking of leaving him, even though you love him, because you are scared of where you are going. When we don't know what the future holds, it can be really scary. But it can also be fun and exciting. You need to stop putting pressure on yourself when it comes to relationships. Yes, he might be a great guy, but you might meet someone better in a few months and leave him. Or you might decide that, after spending more time with him, he isn't right for you. Or you may even decide that you want to be with him forever. But you cannot know what is round the corner and, yes, it's scary, but it's also a wonderful part of life. Relax, keep reminding yourself you are young and the world really is your oyster. Best of luck X
...............................
|
