A
female
age
30-35,
*_need_relationship_help!
writes: Hi I'm 16 and really need some advice. A few weeks ago I started texting this 18 year old who I really liked. We would text ALL the time, and we would also hang out and stuff, so we really hit it off. One night he dropped me off at my house he gave me my first kiss/make out session. The next day I was texting him and asked if we were more than friends, he told me we should just be friends. Then the next day he invited me to sleep over at his house, i was working and said I could after I got off. So when I text him later that night that so and so stood me up to go hang out with some friends! So we tried to hang out the whole next week but never could, so one day we finally did and he was really rude. I was also a little mean so I apologized, but he never replied. So now he never texts me and whenever I text him he wont reply or the conversation will be very short. We hit it off so well, what went wrong? What did I do to turn him off?
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female
reader, TaylorChu +, writes (21 July 2007):
I've had that happen to me. A guy kissed me then the next day he totally ignored me and acted as if he was disgusted by me. Usually when guys get what they want out of you they toss you in the garbage box marked: USED. He has no interest in you because he attained his goal. You no longer present a challenge to him to conquer.
It flipping hurts and I have been in that situation over a kiss and also sex. Being thrown away like tissue paper by men hurts severely and you feel like the scum on their shoes. HOWEVER, now that you know how some guys like to play their game you can now be on the watch for other idiots who may try the same thing with you.
You my dear are a prize. Guys should have to work to get your number, have a kiss or even be in a relationship with you. They have to get a license to drive a car or go fishing and to get married. So why shouldnt they have to go through hoops to get the reward (your love and your body)? Because guys are wired the way the are they love the hunt. When you make it easy for them they lose interest almost immediately and dont bother with you.
Sorry to hear that this guy is treating you like this but I hope you can learn a lesson from this (tho it is a sucky way to learn via this route, I know). Kisses, hugs, holding hands and sex do not mean unconditional love. The words from his heart and selfless actions for you convey true love.
*For me personally the guy has to be willing to die for me, willing to clean up puke or go the distance when everything is destroyed and all we have is each other. LOVE will still be standing while all else washes away because it wasnt genuine. Some may think that is going too far but God did that for us. I am not going to join myself to a man who wouldnt go to the ends of the earth for me because I AM and WOULD go to the ends of the earth for him, clean up his puke or even die for him if someone was attacking us and I could protect him. That is unconditional, self denying love in it's purest form and that is what I am looking for in my man. Others dont think it takes all that but that's when they didnt love you all the way or are cowards and watch out for themselves first then their moms then women then children.
A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (21 July 2007):
What turned him off was the fact that he thought he would use you for the sex, but you wanted more than friendship. By the way, his definition of friendship is "I have the right to sleep with you and stand you up". I say, stay as far away from this guy as you can. He's simply not worth it.
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