A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a higher up at work that can be very mean/sarcastic at times. People tell me that is just how he is. when i first started at my job I made a mention of I was stressed so I was going out for a drink. He said "that sounds fun". I didn't respond. He then said "did you hear me, that sounds fun?" I told him if i ended up definately going that he was welcome. I did not end up going. However, as a few months went on we never said anything except "hi" or if I had to ask a question that was relevant to my job. He would give very snide answers. Lately, i would go in his office when I had to ask a question but before I asked it I would verify his mood so I didn't upset him if he was already in a bad mood. He got very offended to this and asked me why I always had to ask that question of him as it irritates him. However, when he is in a good mood...he will help me with any question that I have and even go as far as writing everything down step by step for me, he goes above and beyond. He always says good morning to me now. Occasionally he will walk all the way around the room to make it a point to say "Good morning" or "good day". The other day I was all dressed up (I had a new outfit) as I normally wear jeans and he walked by me and raised his eyebrows at me twice. Sometimes when I stand up from my desk, and he is in the general area I find him staring in my direction. I think he is nervous to ask me a question as I am him. He asked me if I would be able to correct a report for him. I did it. He then came back the next day and says..."I just want to know if you were able to correct that report for me. I said yes. Then he says...Ok that is all I need to know and went away. What is up with this whole thing.
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male
reader, rocknroll +, writes (1 June 2009):
I agree with anonymous, but to be realistic, it could be a whole number of things. You both bring your own personalities to the mix, and it sounds like the two of you are opposites, which may not click.
Based on your post, it sounds like there has yet been enough interaction between you two to get an idea if it is improving or if it is sitting in storage.
What do you want? Would you be willing to go out for a drink with him? Would you like a relationship with him? Is he married or are you married? What is your intentions at this point?
When I first begin at a job, I try to be friendly and get to know as many people as I can. Some are friendly and some are grumpy. Some are grumpy all the time and some are friendly all the time. Of course it may have a lot to do with how much is on their plate as in responsibility and deadlines. It takes time, and doing a little chit-chat with them before they open up and you learn enough so that you can make their day a little lighter.
When he snapped, he most likely is being pressured by his own boss or his staff, as in "what now?" I get that with our two cats. One want in and the other want out of the house, it is non stop.
Hope this helps.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2009): Or, he finds you thick skinned, appreciates your ability to continue working with him in a good, balanced, respectful manner, respects you for it, and is attempting to check his own moody behavior...
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