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female
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anonymous
writes: Ok there is this guyfriend of mine that i secretly like. On saturday him and i went to the movies and when i got my debit card out to pay for my ticket he asked me what are you doing and i looked at him and he had a 20 in his hand and i said oh i'm sorry i didn't know you wanted to pay.....but it was too late my card was already swiped so i ended up paying for my ticket. That confuses me cuz the first time he and i went to the movies and we were with a friend of his he didn't say anything about paying or nothing i ended up paying for my ticket the first time so i didn't know he wanted to pay the second time.See i get nervous alot about going anywhere with guys weather there just friends or a bf cuz i never know who is paying and i don't want to make it seem like a guy has to pay for me cuz i'm willing to pay for myself. And i'm defintly not one to talk about an issue like that with a guy..........just because i don't mind paying if i have to.........Here is anohter thing that confuses me last nite i was on the phone with this guy and he said to me that he was sorry if he was acting werid last nite and i said that i didn't notice and he said oh ok cuz i was nervous. and i asked about what, and he said i don't know. and i asked if it was because he was around me and he said no i get nervous alot..............Was he just saying this because he doesn't want to admit that he was nervous around me? Im having a hard time finding out if this guy likes me more then a friend........and i don't know what to do about paying issues when i'm out with guys.........Like this coming up friday im suppose to go to the movies again with this guy but i think that he is going to ask a friend of his to come......i don't know if i should pay or if he should pay cuz of how he was acting on sat about it...........Im so confused and i need help with this issue!Thanx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2007): First, if he really does like you as more than a friend, sooner or later he will ask you out on a date, just the two of you, and he will be calling you sometimes just to talk and let you know he's thinking of you! Next time you are out together you could try linking arms with him when you are walking down the street. His response should give you some idea as to his feelings. And walking arm-in-arm is a mild, non-pressure way to let him know you like him.
As to who pays: it rather depends on whether you are going out as just platonic friends (the same as meeting a girl friend to go somewhere with). But if its a definite date - say he calls to invite you to go out to lunch or dinner - then since he issued the invitation the expectation would be that he is prepared to pay for both of you.
On the other hand, I personally always like to offer to pay my share. If the man I'm with refuses to let me, then that's nice too! For instance, I met with someone I've been emailing (and talking by phone with) for the first time. Having lunch was my suggestion and I said beforehand that I like to pay my half. He allowed me to do that, but had a big bunch of iris for me when we met! Life sometimes surprises us.
Your friend was clearly prepared to pay for your movie ticket, so my recommendation is that next time you meet him, even if he brings another (guy?) friend, don't get your debit card out - give him the chance to say to the box office attendant "I'm getting her ticket." He knows you are willing to pay for yourself!
As for getting nervous, I wouldn't make too much out of that. Perhaps he is a nervous sort of person anyway, and when you asked him if he was nervous because of you, he told you he wasn't, so best to just take him at his word.
Good luck! Hope this has helped.
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