A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i'm almost 18.there's a guy i like right now who's 23. we have decent banter and tend to stare at each other, but that isn't going to work out because he just got engaged.there's another guy who's 30 and we have terrific banter and i always feel better when i'm around him.anyway, i was wondering what's the maximum age i can date that society will tolerate. obviously, once i turn 18 i can technically date whomever i want, but what's the highest age that wouldn't make anyone feel awkward?
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (1 November 2009):
 Seems pretty accurate. It's different for men and women of course. That figure applies to older men and younger women. It's not really socially acceptable for women to date men more than a year or two younger than them!
Socially acceptable all depends on whether or not you care of course.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthat's pretty cool, but is it accurate?
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A
male
reader, Yos +, writes (30 October 2009):
It's the 'half your age + 7 rule'...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships#The_.22half-your-age-plus-seven.22_rule
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question80 and 18 is completely different than 30 and 18.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2009): Has he asked you out? A 30 year old engaging in banter with a 17-almost-18 year old does not a relationship make. He probably thinks you're cute and would screw you as many ways as humanly possible, but date you? Probably not. You have a crush on him, which is fine, but don't starting worrying about the age difference because the situation you're asking about is all in your head.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): Oh and by strength of character for a 30 year old and an 18 year old, he would realize it is his job to protect her, if even if it is from himself....that is what mature people of character do for others, even those they could easily take advantage of.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): Flynn 24, spoken like a true juvenile delinguent that has now reached that magical age where he can be tried as an adult, at least in the US.
My 80 year old dad thinks an 18 year old girl with a pretty face, and breasts is attractive, but he is healthy in his mind, has personal responsibility for others and realizes that an 18 year old girl has NOTHING to offer him because compared to someone his age she is a mere child.
A man of 30 who has the same strength of character would look at a pretty 18 year old girl in the same way.
Sadly, you have missed these lessons of life and think you owe nothing to anybody especially society....
People like you need to grow up.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFlynn 24, you're my idol.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009): Once you are 18, why do you even give two shits what society thinks of you, or who you go out with?Once you hit that magical number, anything you do, and whoever you do it with, ceases to be anyone else business but your own.People think 18 is young... idiots. If you can't decide if you wan to be in a relationship, or want to have sex with someone by that age, then you really should just give up. Because things get way, way harder than that.And to the women calling a 30 year old that would dare think a live young 18 year old girl is attractive, a pervert. Grow up.We are men. If a woman has breasts, an attractive face and LOOKS like she could be 18 or older, we will be attracted. It isn't the most dignified way of thinking, I'll admit. But it is intrinsic to every man;s nature, whether he admits it or not.So I think if an 18 year old and a 30 year old are both single and fall for each other, then who the hell is society to argue? Society can mind its own damn business in that respect.Flynn 24
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni just have no interest in younger guys, as i seem to nothing in common with them BUT age.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009): I don't think you are asking the right question.
The right question is this 30 year old too old for a 17 year old or an almost 18 year old.
In my opinion and most people's idea, a 30 year old man would not normally be interested in a 17/18 year old. If he were, that would indicate that he has some personal problems of his own and cannot maintain a relationship with a woman who is his peer. He also would be a bit of a pervert wanting a girl your age.
Now once you become older this age gap becomes less important because you will mature and gain enough life experience to make better judgements about the people you allow into your life.
I would imagine that this 30 year old is just being nice to you.
The 23 year old is also too old for you because you are at different stages in your lives. Here you are still living at home I imagine and here he is of legal age who can go out to bars and drink alchohol and you cannot....and he is just going to be tired of that difference and so are you.
I think you would better off dating guys your own age for at least a couple more years, and if you have plans to go to college, date any guy attending there that you meet and like, that would be the best dating pool for you.
As far as society, the rules and what is appropriate are different for young people than they are for legal adults. so wrong question.
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (15 October 2009):
 Well my first bit of advice is to stay far away from the guy who is getting engaged. You really don't want to get tangled up in something as big as an affair, especially as young as you are and with as many options as you have. I mean you are going to be eighteen! It's the prime age to meet new people with a little more in common than that guy.
As for the thirty year old? You have to consider that the 'age difference' question isn't so much about the actual age, but about life experience. This guy who is thirty years old has gone through quite a bit more experiences than you have. You have just graduated high school, while he is settled in whatever career he is going to be working for the rest of his life. He can even drink legally while you can't. There is so little that you two have in common that it doesn't seem likely that the relationship will last. Not to mention that older men don't tend to take flings with younger women all too serious. It's just nature really.
In my honest opinion? When you turn eighteen, the oldest I would shoot for is around twenty one or twenty two, and even that is a little high for an eighteen year old (again not because of the years difference, but because of the experiences that the age groups share). Try to stick with the younger guys because I guarantee you'll have a bit more fun and not to mention if you want anything more permanent, you'll have more of a chance in finding someone that'll stick around.
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