A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hello everyone, i seriously need your help. my girlfriend is in hospital for over a week now, some guy tried to rape her and she got physically and mentally hurt. It's really hard typing this but i don't know what to do, i wanna support her, i wanna be with her. What can i do to show her that i'm there with her and i would never wanna be without her?!!thank you Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2011): theres some sickos out there nobody deserves that.
Shes going to be really fragile for a while and probably wont like a lot of pysical contact and you've just got to b strong for her she may lash out and take it out on you but thats a common thing, it doesnt mean she doesnt love you. Maybe after a while try getting her totalk to someone a specialist or go togeter so he knows you are suporting her.
You just got to remember in way you are lucky it could have been a lot worse but you still have her and she can get better with some patience, love and understanding always share your troubles with someone wen it gets too much you'd b no good to her if u break down too
Hope she gets well too best wishes to both of you
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2011): I'm so sorry this happend to her and u have to go through this. Its hard I kno I've been ther. I was raped last year and I'm still not over it but doing much better. Its going to take some time but everyone on here is dead on. Don't talk about it unless she wants to. Don't talk a lot just be ther for her. The little things r big things to her. When or if she starts to talk about it let her kno she didn't deserve what happend to her and pretty much listen and hold her. When it happend to me I cried in my best friends arms for a very long time and it ment the world to me that she just held me and rubbed my back and just let me cry. She told me he was scum and I didn't deserve what happend to me she asked if I needed anything then let me lay down and cry while she sat ther and was just ther. Having her ther made it a lot easier for me to deal with it. She's really going to need u to get through this. And u don't have to do much just always be ther. Good luck and please let us kno how things r going.
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1  +, writes (8 January 2011):
I'm really sorry to hear that. I have a close friend whose girlfriend had been raped by her dad as a child and it was always hard for him to know what was the best thing to say and do.
From my friend's experience, I can say that just being gentle with her will take your relationship a long way. Always talk to her in a calm manner and don't leave her side. When you are with her, simply hold her hand. It doesn't take much to just tell her you'll be there for her, but I'm sure its still a hard thing to bring up. But also make it known through your ACTIONS, not just words. Any man can say he'll always be there and always listen, but not many actually follow through. Its what's behind the words that matters.
I'm sure you'll do fine! Just be patient with her and try and always set a calm and happy mood where ever it is you go, to take her mind off things.
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (8 January 2011):
 I am so sorry to hear that this has happened to your girlfriend. I can't imagine what either of you must be going through. I hear that you feel her pain and want to take it away somehow and show her that you will be there. All you can do is be there. Do little things for her to keep her spirits up. Buy her magazines and little things to keep her busy and keep her mind off the bad stuff. Visit her as often as she wants you to and show her that you are there for her.
It must be a terrible thing for her to be going through. But I know that it will be easier with the support and love of a boyfriend who loves her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2011): Visit her and just be with her. Don't ask her to go over the event unless she wants to. You don't neccessarily have to talk either.
She probably wants right now to be "normal" after something that traumatic happening. Just showing up and staying with her, even if she's upset and not herself shows that you believe this event is something she can get over. Your confidence can only help build her confidence. Good luck and I hope she recovers emotionally and physically.
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A
male
reader, Shadowjo  +, writes (8 January 2011):
 It's not what comes out of ur mouth but what's in ur eyes...just sit with her...hold her hand...talk to her...tell her u love her...and let her see it in ur eyes !
If she sees strength in u she will eventually seek ur support ...she will still be in shock and the full extend of the repercussions will take some time to show themselves...be there and be there for the long run...there is no quick solution...just long term love !
and the occasional hug will go a long way too..but remember she may have difficulty feeling close to a male for some time ...be patient my friend !
good luck to both of u
Shadowjo
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A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (8 January 2011):
 Wow, that's really rough. I'm sorry for her. All you can do is be there for her and listen to her if she wants to talk about it. Just let her know that you're by her side. There may be some trust issues she sees regarding you, but don't believe this - it's just she's been through a traumatic event and she needs time to heal; both physically and mentally - especially mentally. She'll never really get over it, but time heals all wounds and she'll get better.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2011): That's horrid. Im sorry to hear about this. Just let her know that you are there for her. What happened to your girlfriend is awful and she will need you there to help her recover. After this attemped attack she will be fearful not only of men but situations that revolve around the incident. She will probably be very weak emotionaly and physicaly so be paitent, her recovery may take a long time. you sound like a good guy, so just be there for her.
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A
female
reader, Little_aphrodite  +, writes (8 January 2011):
 Firstly i wanna say sorry to hear that..
Things that you can do now are give your warm caring and always accompany her.. Make her feel comfort when she is with you.. Make she feels safe.. Tell her that try to forget that nightmare. It will not happen anymore because you will always on her side and take care of her..
I'm sorry i can't give any good advice.. I hope your girlfriend will get well soon.. I'll pray for her..
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