A
female
age
36-40,
*od_gurl
writes: I just started seeing a guy. There was an original spark at the beginning, but after the third date, it felt that I was talking to a little brother that I never had, not a potential boyfriend. I'm new to the dating scene, so how do I let him down gently with the "let's just be friends"?
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female
reader, mod_gurl +, writes (15 November 2010):
mod_gurl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the help! Much appreciated!
A
female
reader, mod_gurl +, writes (14 November 2010):
mod_gurl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIs it better to do it over the phone or in person?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): The "friends" ploy is dangerous, as he could see it as an opportunity to stay close and convert you back to GF material.
You need to tell him basically what you wrote.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): I don't think there is ever an easy way of telling someone. I guess you could tell him that, although you have really enjoyed getting to know him, you don't have any romantic feelings. But you think he is a great guy, and it would be lovely if you could remain friends. How about something like that?
But saying that, do you really want to be "just friends", or would you rather just say goodbye and let that be the end of it? If you would actually like to move on, then maybe something like, "I've really enjoyed the dates we've had, I've had a really nice time and I hope you have too. But I don't see this going any further, and I think it's best if we go our separate ways. But again, thank you for the lovely dates." Something like that? I think that is gentle, but makes it clear you're not interested in seeing him again. I hope something here helps!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): Tell him straight out and be honest please. Be direct. Thats always best.
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