A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everybody. I met a few girls at a disco recently and really liked two of them (they are best mates), but then i found out one of the two lets call her "lily", was interested in someone else. So i think i got over her, and started talking to her best friend- "emma" (the other one i met at the disco). Emma found out i fancied her and i dont know how she feels now. Then i got a text from a friend of lilys saying i still had a chance with lily (a lot of her other friends have now said this). But i dont like lily that way anymore. i am going to the cinema with lily and a few other mates on saturday and then meeting emma with my mates afterwards. How do i act around "lily" and "emma". WQhat should i do? Please Help and thanks for any answers
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): This is how you get even though I think her name is stink and she sounds like a plain farmer girl. :)
ANSWER:
Attracting Girls
First, you should IGNORE any empty advice like 'Be a man', 'Be sweet to her' or 'Be yourself' or advice that suggests you change what you do in life. Confidence, however, is KEY with all interactions you have with society. You might think, "Confidence of what??" Confidence in the strengths that you DO have. As life goes on you will gain strengths in different things. You must understand your limits in the things you know to the point that you thoroughly KNOW what strengths you have.
Attracting any particular female heavily depends on whatever situation you are in. If the girl is not an acquaintance of yours then you should simply approach her and introduce yourself. Commonly acceptable introductions may include something like, "Hi, I'm ____. Can I buy you a drink?" (not necessarily an alcoholic drink) Thoughtfully consider whatever situation you will place yourself in and apply your introductions accordingly.
If she does not seem interested in you she may not be physically attracted to you or she may already be committed in a relationship. Whatever her reasons for not being interested in you might be you would do best to keep your chin up above her rejection. RE-CHECK your confidence. Your pride may be hurt but as long as you retain confidence in your strengths pride will build back up. If she is not attracted to your approach and/or your appearance then you won't be intimately compatible with her sexually or emotionally anyway.
Some suggest a girl may be 'playing hard to get'. Any person that considers this to be an acceptable 'tactic' to attract a mate is probably not mature enough for a stable or prolonged relationship. On the other hand, if you do not wish to have such a relationship then, by all means, 'play the games' to your heart's content.
When seeking advice in such matters it is important to be aware of what you are accustomed to and also be aware of the affects of your choices in following another persons advice. Good luck! -mindurthoughts
ANSWER:
Here is some advice on attracting girls:
Be yourself and be confident.
The question is "How do you attract A girl?" not any particular girl or THIS girl. The best way to attract a girl is by being a man. Learn all about yourself as a man and relish your manliness. I don't mean turn into Paul Bunyan, but rather indulge the manly things you like to do, whatever they may be. Play sports, fart loudly and ceremoniously, fix things, don't be bashful about scratching your crotch, at some point in the relationship with a girl you must casually tell her that you will have to bend her over and make her your bitch, belch with your friends, get dirty, play cards, get a Jeep, go outdoors, learn about cars, learn about computers, feast on grand meals you cook with your buddies on the grill over beers, shoot stuff, blow things up, play with growing a beard (it'll look like crap, but that's okay -- you are a man), play with dogs. Do NOT primp your hair pretty and try to look some certain way, work out because you want to have pretty muscles, try and be something you aren't -- that's gay. If you just have a good time and enjoy doing the manly things you want to do then you'll either bump into some girl that digs it or you'll have enough fun you don't care anyhow (which is even more attractive to a lot of women). When you can truthfully answer the above question with a "who cares?" then you are just about there. Oh, also, talk to every girl you meet with a smile on your face. And make a point to meet every pretty girl you see. But when you meet them don't stress about what you say to meet them, just say something stupid that clearly conveys you are not cool, you know you are not cool but you don't care because your confident enough that it doesn't matter.
Be nonchalant sometimes. And become totally sweet. Be unpredictable.
There are many ways to do so, but to answer this assessing what your current barriers are would be the first way to start. And if you have any friends who are girls, ask them what you should do differently if you aren't happy with this area of your life. If not, you could rely on a sister for advice.
Show her that you really like her, and don't keep her guessing.
Be yourself. Yes, it sounds so cliche but it is true. They will get to know the real you eventually so why not let them fall in love with the right person. Always be honest about your past and things you have done. There is nothing wrong with putting your best foot forward but never pretend to be someone you are not. Don't play games rather let her know how you feel. If you are open, honest and yourself and she still doesn't like you then you don't need her anyways.
Think you are sexy, and they will too.
Personally being a girl myself, to attract a girl, stare at her, make her feel special. Talk to her, don't always ignore her, or try to act all tough. Get to know her, tell her how you feel. Don't play with her emotions, just tell her straight up. But get to know her first, and try to see if she feels the same, otherwise just telling her straight up can be quite risky. Just trying to spend time with her, talking with her, or staring at her would usually get a girls attention though. It would flatter her, and she would sooner or later be interested, unless she's already taken.
Be three things; smart, nice, and no pushover. From my experiences, girls like all of the above, smart - have a future, aspirations for a good job, etc. Be nice, respectful, kind, but not too kind, don't be a freakin pushover. If some Neanderthal thug comes trying to own you, if he insults you, insult him back, if you're a nice guy, you have brains and you can shut him up!
One of the common mistakes that guys make when trying to attract a girl is when they try to act arrogant and cooler than his friends. This does not impress us girls. Sometimes they like being cared for, but don't be overprotective of her. Compliment her on how she looks. Some like the romantic type, and some like the action guy. It depends, so try to get to know the girl first before making a move to be sure that she'll like what you're doing. Never forget to be yourself. Also, try to make the first move, like asking her out on date, unless the girl you're trying to impress is confident enough to do it before you. But normally we think that guys should make the first move. Good luck!
Smile, compliment without being cheesy, hang out with her.
Being funny helps.
Also being a girl, to attract girls, don't be afraid to talk to us. If you are friends with a girl you like, touch her arm or even tickle her. If a girl kiddingly pushes you, push her back...gently. We like it when guys can feel comftorble around us and have real converations. I know everyone says this but eye contact is really important. Most guys get embarrassed if you make eye contact and look away, but if you can talk to a girl and look into her eyes...you pretty much have her. Smiling helps alot too.
Do sweet things for her. Honestly, its the little things that count. If you say you're going to call her, call her. If she calls you, call her back even if you can't talk. I'd rather have a homemade gift or something small and cute, then something impersonal and expensive. Spend time with her, talk to her. Make the first move, but don't be overly confident. Confidence is nice, but too much of it is just a no-no. Be there for her when she's upset. Let her be there for you when you're upset. COMMUNICATE!
be a man and sometimes look for the girl that isn't what you are lookin for excatly.
Say hi to her, glance at her in the hall and when you talk to her smile dont make her feel like she is being ignored
Go up to her and tell her you like her.
Be yourself look into your heart and don't try to make a move.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008): Honey, all I'll say is that you should be yourself and not make a move. You're trying to get the best girl here, which isnt good, you need to look into your heart and decide which girl you prefer. Otherwise, you'll end up upsetting and confusing them both - which wont go down too well. Good luck :]
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008): You already know the answer.Friendship with LILY and relationship with EMMA.Inform all who wish you to be with LILY that that ship has sailed long ago.Either way. Look into yourself and pick the girl you love. Thats all any man can do.Flynn 24
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