A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a horrible mood, I just found out that my gf slept with some guy while she was really drunk (we were on a break at the time but she told me she wouldn't sleep with anyone). We took a break b/c she is in Europe studying abroad and hasn't gotten back yet. I'm very upset because of what she did and even more mad at myself b/c the break was my idea. I hate myself and the way the situation is right now this looks like the straw that will break the camel's back and I won't be getting back together with her now. What's a good thing to do when you're in a self-loathing and distraught mood?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): Look, you two are NOT invovled, and as such she's just like any other woman that you're going to date in the future- they're all out there, kissing guys and having sex- so what?!!
Unless you find a virgin then ever girl you have sex with is going to have had at least one other guy there before you. If the girl is smart she'll NEVER TELL YOU how many, or what she's done... you need to learn how to accept this and NOT get all caught up in it. Enjoy what she's learned... and you need to LEARN from this as well.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2009): If this bothers you now consider yourself forewarned of her future behavior. This is probably indicative that she wasn't really for you and that she had you around instead of someone better.
Dust off your black book and find another girl, preferably one with more self-control and dedication to the relationship with you OR next time make sure you really love your partner instead of requesting breaks that reveal the decay in the relationship.
Time will tell how things work out with you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2009): I know this isn't what you want to hear, but you can't have your cake and eat it too. You can't say you want no relationship and then expect you can control the sex of someone who isn't "involved" with you anymore, even if it is a temporary period. if it bugged you a lot maybe you should tell her you don't want a break and then you can end up both being miserably lusting after one another for a year. but i don't recommend it. just wait til she comes home, reestablish the relationship from square one, see if feelings are mutual between you two still, and take it from there. move on for now and date around..what else is the point in a break...
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (13 December 2009):
I would be interested to know if YOU were also not sleeping with anyone during the break. About your mood; there is nothing anybody can do or say that will make it better. The first week is the hardest then after that it gets more and more bearable. 2 months from now you won't even be thinking about her. Only time can heal
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