A
male
age
26-29,
*enis49
writes:Hi everyone!I met someone at a venue I've been working at all summer. She's cute, she's fun to be around, and she's kinda nerdy like I am. I met her and thought she was cool but after seeing her more and more I started to like her. I realized the feeling was mutual when she would hang out with me when she didn't have to instead of following the other interns around the venue. So we started texting each other and that is going really well so far. So.... I signed up for a concert to get my friend and her boyfriend in (they are mentioned in another question i've asked about :p) and I knew that she didn't sign up for it, then all of a sudden I walked into the office and there she was! She told me it was a last minute thing that she signed up for it. At this point I know that she really likes me (I hope) and I know I really like her. Every concert we work together we either talk to each other about fun stupid stuff or we actually watch and I wrap my arm around her.The other day at one of the concerts I though that maybe it was time to ask out. I followed through and asked and the response I got was kind of a surprise. She told me that she really wanted to hang out with me more before she makes a decision. I was cool with it, it just wasn't what I was expecting. I told her that it was fine and that I thought she was really cool and that I liked her and she said she really liked me too. Surprisingly it wasn't too awkward the rest of the night. I've worked 2 shows with her since then and I've gone to lunch with her once. I'm working with her again today and I wanted to know what my next move should be. I've thought in my head I'd ask something like "well what are you thinking about us?" but i just don't know. What should I do next? What should my next move be? I'd really appreciate any feedback on this!Thanks
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (17 September 2012):
 Hi
I think you have done everything right and I think your behaviour is completely IMPRESSIVE.
If that doesn't impress her AND the parents then they lack good insight into what is an honorable GOOD man who knows how to be a gentleman too.
Stay on the positive route. You did really well.
Well spoken
Good manners
Know what is appropriate
Very Considerate of her feelings too
If she cannot recognise all that good in you she must be blind-folded.
Keep on being such a really nice young man and even if she cannot recognise the GOOD in you I can assure you that others will.
Well done.
I am impressed.
Regards
Abella
A
male
reader, denis49 +, writes (17 September 2012):
denis49 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOne last update on this!!So I had a college fair thing today and I kinda knew she was going but I wasn't exactly looking for her... But I found her!I saw that she was with her parents and I went in to say hi to her. I asked her what colleges she looked at and I shared the ones I saw. I then asked if these (kind of pointing at her parents) were her parents, she said yes and I asked if it was okay if I introduced myself. she said sure so i addressed them, shook mom's hand first then dads and mom started talking. She asked about the colleges I was looking at and I talked to them about new york university. I took care not to say too much about myself, where i went to school, or how in depth I was involved with their daughter except for our duel internship at the venue. they seemed surprised that someone was introducing themselves to them and they sounded like they had never even heard of me from their daughter. (shocker!)I shook their hands before and after we started talking, made eye contact with whoever was speaking, addressed them mr. and mrs. (insert last name here), and was sure with all of my words. unfortunately I didn't have a bundle of flowers handy so I kind of improved a little and just made myself look confident and well mannered. However I noticed during our micro-conversation, my girl was off to the side, kind of looking at the ground and not really being a part of our talk. I had no intention of embarrassing her or making her have to explain to her parents who I am and that's kind of what i felt like i did. I felt like I left a lot for interpretation though, so she could fill in the gaps with any correct or misleading information if she needed/wanted to.I texted her like 3-4 hours later asking about how hectic she though the meeting was today and she responded how I expected her to respond (really straight-forward with not too much emotion, lol's, or emoticons.) I told her it was awesome seeing her this weekend and that we'd have to find time to catch a movie in our busy schedules. She told me that we do but shes already booked though and I responded like, hey no big deal, we'll have fun anyway so it'd all work out! I think she realizes that we're moving painfully slow, and Im cool with it because it's really one of the first cool no drama girls I've had the pleasure of spending time with. In other words, I think she's worth it so it's all good. I'll try to make more plans with her in the future, but all these what if's about our future is really driving me insane! I've talked it out with my parent and I'm being assured that it'll be fine but i just don't know.It makes more and more sense now that everything we've done together was before or after she had some kind of event where she could definitely prove that she was there (like a concert or a festival or something that had to do with the venue.) I noticed that she has a lot of girlfriends that she talks about and has yet to mention 1 guy friend in our time together. (maybe parents are guy phobic) but she told me she was in a relationship earlier this year with someone who was VERY much younger than her; she told me this after I asked her out. (like 1.5 year difference as apposed to her 5 months on me) It may be Abella that I've won her over, but if the parent factor is what is holding it all up and she's not really being honest about it (Because I'm sure shes EXTREMELY embarrassed about it and that's just the way she is) then there's no amount of slowness that will be okay. BUT! I need to stay positive and if anything just keep being her secret guy friend until she's able to get away from her parent's sphere of influence.I thin i've done the best I can so far but Im not looking to do everything right here. I'm just trying to present myself as somebody who is nice and right for her and a person that is right for their daughter. Thanks for listening to me ramble, and as always I'd like whatever comments, praises, criticisms, feedback, you can throw at me!~Denis49
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (16 September 2012):
hi, lovely follow up, so good to read followups - i enjoy the feedback, thank you.
I think you are doing really well. She likes walking and talking with you. That's an excellent start.
She may have extra strict parents, as you have surmised. So all the more reason to keep on being the thorough gentleman that you are. Keep on being courteous. keep on engaging her in conversation.
If there is a parent issue, bearing in mind it sounds like she is very respectful towards her parents - then i think the more good, positive, respectful things you can do/act/behave/be will all help her build a case FOR you when she chooses to negotiate with her parents about wanting to introduce her friend (that's you) to her parents.
I think she is a little bit smitten with you. But perhaps her parents have imposed some arbitary age limit on her, before they will feel comfortable with her dating.
If you do get to meet the parents then greet her Dad with a firm handshake. Smile and nod respectfully to her Mom and (if you have access to inexpensive flowers - supermarket maybe?) then give her Mom a nice little posy of flowers.
And let them know that you 'respect and admire their daughter very much'. (that's 'code' for 'no I will not yet try to rush/push/try to have sex with your daughter' - thought do NOT say that out loud)
Good luck. Oh that mothers all over the world could have such a nice young man as you interested in their daughter.
You are doing extra well, so far. Keep up the good work. She sounds like a lovely girl
Regards
Abella
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A
male
reader, denis49 +, writes (16 September 2012):
denis49 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the articles! They helped a lot today.
So somebody today asked if we were dating while we were together and I was kind of expecting it sooner or later. We kinda looked at each other and we both said not really yet. After the question we walked away an I asked what she thought about it, and she said she didn't know and she wanted to take it slow. I think there of been hints about parent involvment on her end, which may be an entirely different problem I may approach in the future :/
I'll see where it goes from here but how do I ask about parents and how they may feel about it if she has or hasnot told them about me?
This may be something I need ask in a different post :3
Thanks again!
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (15 September 2012):
She sounds really smart and cool. What a great approach to observe how you behave and how you seem to her before she dates you.
Now is your time to keep on being a nice guy. Smile at her. Take and interest by listening to her without interrupting.
And here are some things to read with more tips before you see her next.
Telling some (not dirty) funny jokes can help relax her,.
Just keep on being the nice guy - which is who you are - by checking out this advice from some really good articles found on this site
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/20-questions-to-ask-someone-on-a-date.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-be-attractive-a-beginners-guide-for.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-is-confidence-and-how-do-i-get.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/to-all-young-girls-with-a-boyfriend.html
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